Okay, I only saw the first segment of 314... the rest of the segments were removed from the site. *sigh* I still haven't seen 312 or 313, either.

I've read spoilers. I've seen clips. I want to see whole episodes, in full screen glory! Any ideas on when this might happen in the US? Nick isn't very forthcoming with this information and I don't trust the July dates since DVD's are due to be released!

I'm kinda freakin' about how Zuko and Sakka get out of that volcanic situation!

Ehhh...

It could've been grand. It could've been a thing of beauty, a turn for the better, a proverbial revolution in quality. It could've been all those things, what with the waiting, and the hype, and the creative potential which created the first 16 episodes of season 2. It could've farted in my faces while eating a purple banana, and I would've liked it better 'cause it would have been unexpected. It could've been original. It could've been good.

But it wasn't. Boiling Rock is average, run of the mill, a plain, white egg in an Easter basket. I could go on all day listing the things which went horribly, horribly wrong...so I will!

1) The wait - When will they learn...waiting only makes for more fanfictions, for more people giving original ideas and generaly expecting something (gasp!) worth the wait! The Boiling Rock was short, dumb and predictable, yet we had to wait longer for this kind of s**t-nugget than, let's say, "The Blind Bandit". It's like waiting forever for your steak dinner in an expensive restaurant, only to find out that the waiter wiped his arse with it first!

2) The characters - Uh-uh, you heard me. For over four episodes now, everybody has been acting like they're on some wierd, persona-altering drug. Katara is a ticking PMS bomb, Toph is no-longer-in-this-show, Sokka is now painful to listen to, Aang has become the substitute comic relief and Zuko is the avatar of eye-rolling sissiness! Not to mention the band wagon of totally marginal characters, like the Duke, or that big, prison guy who serve no purpose! They are bench warmers, like the sissy kids in your high-school baseball team who never get to play because their little girley arms can't hold the bat straight! Also, where did the chemistry go? Katara and Aang? Nothing. Sokka and Toph? Zilch! Appa and Momo? Nadda!

3) Flow/Common Sense - This is where the s**t hits the fan with perfect accuracy and spread. The entire episode seems to have been made by 20 different trained chimps, each isolated in an underground cell and forced to work on chinese typewriters. Tell me, oh great M&B, how does this make any sense: the Rock is the most heavily guarded place in the Fire Nation, right? Then how is it possible that a baloon can glide in and crash on the island without anyone noticing? Why is it staffed by pasty, chess-club rejects who can't fight their way out of an arm-lock? Why is there an obvious blind spot in its' defences? Why is the ice box considered a punishment? I know that the prisoners are mostly Fire Nation, but the air must be at least 50 degrees Centigrade in there! Hell, I would stash a bottle of vodka in every ice box, and firebend with my buddies every other night! But the three worst crimes against continuity are:

a) The SMART part of the group seem tottaly unfased by the fact that two members of their group left on clearly false pretenses. b) Sokka and Zuko say how the prison is a veritable fortress and they need to find some way to enter without being noticed. One scene transition later, we see them, in uniform, smack down in the middle of the barracks! WTF? c) Suki. I need say no more. Go and read a fanfiction already, will you? At least some of them make me care about these characters anymore.

4) Action - and we come to the final, most painful nail. The action scenes were so boring, that I actually fast forwarded through half of them. Azula, the most powerful firebender in the world can't beat Zuko and Sokka. Ty Lee and Suki do...things. I don't know. And we had to wait for 45 minutes for this! That is, if you don't count the 3 months we waited for the episodes themselves! Sloppy, M&B, very sloppy.

I will give credit where it's due, though. While Mai's betrayal was expected, Ty Lee's wasn't. Plus, she gave Azula a good slap or two! There, I enjoyed the Boiling rock for one whole minute.

So there, Tomtitan! Avatar hasn't gone back to the straight and narrow with the "Boiling Rock"! Instead, it went Dexter's Laboratory, Season 2 on my backside! As a disgusted and betrayed fan, who never called himself a fan of ANYTHING, EVER until Avatar, I'm calling it quits!

Suck it, Mike & Brian! You sold your souls to the demons of mediocrity! I hope the feeling of w***ing off all over me was worth the 54 tons of money you got, you pricks!