Mei-Chi wrote: | ||||||
by.....? |
The Moderators. or someone in charge.
Nickelodeon (ended 2008)
Mei-Chi wrote: | ||||||
by.....? |
The Moderators. or someone in charge.
BaiMaoRieji wrote: |
*cough* Any comments on my post? |
it was a little short (and it seemed like a in between post)
the battle shock is a real thing but i think they gave it a medical name
didn't understand the torture part though.
r3173mpt10n wrote: | ||||||||||||||
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sounds like Indaina Jones
Mei-Chi wrote: |
On a scale from 1 to 10,how was my last 2 posts? |
I still don't understand why you can't do any big posts. I also kinda wish you could have continued with the gaang but o-well
If you are that severly limited then i give you a 7
if you aren't then it be less (just my opinion) because your posts lack desription and plot (But you had to start over to that probably doesn't count) but if you can do so, give your posts more substance(ask Dafoose about it he's the real expert)
again, just my opion
Double09nhalf wrote: | ||
I still don't understand why you can't do any big posts. I also kinda wish you could have continued with the gaang but o-well If you are that severly limited then i give you a 7 if you aren't then it be less (just my opinion) because your posts lack desription and plot (But you had to start over to that probably doesn't count) but if you can do so, give your posts more substance(ask Dafoose about it he's the real expert) again, just my opion |
since it limits me most of the time(but it has gotten better),I try not to put too much detail in..
Double09nhalf wrote: | ||||||||||||||||
sounds like Indaina Jones |
Double09nhalf wrote: | ||
it was a little short (and it seemed like a in between post) the battle shock is a real thing but i think they gave it a medical name didn't understand the torture part though. |
This ones a bit longer than the my others but i hope you read all of it.
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Mizuhiro- Firebender/swordsman
Master Ikasoruk- Master Swordsman
~~At the Western Airtemple~~
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While Siam was busy River and Tam gave them a small tour of the air temple and the surrounding parts. She had someone pick up their luggage and drop it off at where they would be staying. She had already shown them the vast library and the echo chamber. The corridors that led to these spaces were all made using multiple arches and each floor was labeled using consecutive numbers in descending order because of the temples design.
"And here is the sanctuary for our animals such as the flying squirrels, lemur, and flying bison like Kempa. The sanctuaries purpose is not to cage the animals but to give them a place to rest and eat," said River.
"You mean they aren't kept on a leash or anything?" replied Mizuhiro.
River looked as if she was about to explode with laughter while Tam just snickered.
"Put a leash on a flying Bison? N, no I sorry for being rude," said River. "You see the nomadic air tribe doesn't own anything. Instead we care and provide for all living things. And as for the animals... we don't own them. Instead they are our friends and companions. But if you'd like to put a leash on a bison that's can grow too ten times your sizes be my guest."
River then bent down and whispered in his ear, "Just warn me first, getting crushed isn't fun you know."
She winked at him then proceeded down the corridor. As they continued to walk down the stone passage way it became very evident of the smell of foodstuffs. Everyone could smell the fresh bread and pastries.
"One of the many highlights you'll enjoy while visiting the temple is the food. I must warn you that we air benders are strict vegetarians so no cooked meat," said River. "But what where the monks lack in meat, they excel in pastries. The monks are busy right now so we'll just leave them alone."
They continued to walk down the hall then though a door that led outside and over a bridge that connected to two other buildings. The view of the architecture was so impressive that even Master Ikasoruk was amazed.
"The structural design of this magnitude puts even our fire nation designs to shame," he said.
River turned around and blushed, "The western air temple was the first one to ever be built. It was said that the design was made by the first wind avatar. Some say the design was an extension of his humor. Now if you two would like to rest your room is right down this way."
They both nodded and proceeded to follow her. A moment later they arrived at the room. In and of itself the room wasn't very impressive. It wasn't decorated with wall hangings or fancy furniture and contained three beds, a small restroom that contained only a toilet, a dresser, a wicker chair, and a fire pit with a hole in the ceiling to release the smoke. The room didn't look like much but they found out later that the sheets were made of hand knit cotton and the mattresses and pillows were stuffed with the fur from air bison.
"Again if you need anything just ask me. We'll call you when it's time to eat. We can also brew tea if you like. The rooms themselves do not contain showers; instead we have a bath house that is built around a natural steam vent. The way to get there is to take the third bridge you saw when we were outside. I'll leave you two alone now have a good day."
With that River left with her assistant and walked back down the hallway leaving Mizuhiro and Master Ikasoruk to unpack.
The only thing that could count as luggage for Master Ikasoruk was the sack he kept around his shoulder. He started to rummage through it and account for all its contents. Without even looking up from what he was doing he began to speak to Mizuhiro.
"Lord Mizuhiro, today I two lessons to teach you. Now draw your weapon."
Mizuhiro silently brought forward his sword and unsheathed the weapon. It was a short broad sword with a silver guard. Though the blade was made of steel the thin knurled handle was made of meteor rock that went throughout the core of the entire sword. To this Master Ikasoruk pulled out a small object and whipped it at Mizuhiro. Holding the sword in his right hand Mizuhiro slid the object off his sword and caught it in his left. He held the object up and looked confused.
"A pysho tile?"
"Yes," was all Master Ikasoruk had to say as he pulled out a collapsed bored and a leather pouch filled with the remaining tiles. Mizuhiro brought the night stand forward and set the board on top. Master Ikasoruk set the first tile down and motioned to Mizuhiro.
"Your turn."
They played for the next fifteen minutes trading the leather pouch as they depleted it tiles. Five minutes into the game Master Ikasoruk began a discussion with his student.
"So what do you think of Siam?"
Mizuhiro started turning red, am I really having this discussion with Master Ikasoruk?
"Um... she's okay. Siam is cute she is like an older sister to me."
Master Ikasoruk nodded his head in agreement and remained quiet. They carried on with the game silently. Mizuhiro was going through his strategy but with the end in sight the game got a lot trickier and he was almost flying blind. Seeing his student's uneasiness Master Ikasoruk continued the discussion.
"Do you trust her?"
The question through Mizuhiro off as he was about to place the last piece.
"I, I guess so. I..." he stammered as he started to place down the last tile.
"You don't want to place it there," interjected Master Ikasoruk.
Mizuhiro placed the tile down on a different square and sat back to look at it. The formation didn't seem right.
"I win," said Master Ikasoruk.
"Wha... you cheated," replied Mizuhiro.
Master Ikasoruk leaned back and smirked, "You were thrown off guard and trusted my judgment without using an ounce of your own. That is where you lost. In a battle or in any life situation always use your own intellect while asking others for theirs."
Mizuhiro became quiet and pondered the lesson then a question popped into his head.
"What was the second lesson Master?"
A twinkle came into Master Ikasoruk's eyes as he collected up the tiles. Once he had them all in the bag he handed it to Mizuhiro.
"What... losers go first?" said Mizuhiro.
"I want you to play the game by yourself," replied Master Ikasoruk.
Mizuhiro nodded and took the bag from his master. While he played Master Ikasoruk watched intently from the wicker chair. After a short while Mizuhiro had completed the game. He turned around and looked at his master.
"I'm done."
Master Ikasoruk showed the same twinkle in his eye, "Did you win or lose?"
Mizuhiro looked at him funny again, "Both actually."
"Okay, with that in mind separate the win and lose. Strategically, how did you win? And accordingly so, how did you lose."
Mizuhiro thought for a while, "...I knew my opponents strategy so I won. Also I won because of how easily I could switch sides. I lost because my opponent knew my strategy. "
Master Ikasoruk smiled, "In all three cases you are correct. In a battle there are many advantages such as strength and a good strategy. But knowing your opponents strategy can give you an edge that nobody can counter. Lastly, victory is always assured to those whose duty can be switched easily. But there is a terrible price to pay."
"What is it," replied Mizuhiro looking concerned.
"A man's honor, integrity, and his friends," said Master Ikasoruk.
Mizuhiro pondered as he looked at the pysho board. He felt anger welling up within him. He would have said something but his thoughts were interrupted by a `knock' on the door. Siam poked her head though and looked at the two of them.
"Hey guys. Sorry I'm late... River told me you guys would be in here. You guys playing pysho? I call winner. What, did Master Ikasoruk beat you that bad Mizuhiro?"
///////////////////////////////
Hope you guys like it. The grammar/ Sentence formation gave me a headache
Woo Hoo my first post with the new sig
Thanks again to Dafoose- awesome job
r3173mpt10n wrote: | ||||
|
meh
Are you guys referring to Post Traumatic Stress Disorder?
It used to be called shell shock. It's what happens when someone becomes traumitized by acts of war.
-TheSecondSign- wrote: |
Are you guys referring to Post Traumatic Stress Disorder? |
The guards escorted the now walking Dosu Kinuta to the boss's room. As they entered, Dosu snorted, and spit. No blood. His injuries were finally starting to heal. As the doors opened the guards stepped away. Inside it was cooler than the intensely hot portions of the underground Dark Pits. A man in fancy clothes stood before him, looking out a large hole in his wall. Beneath him was the arena, where two men were fighting it to the death.
"So, Mr. Kinuta. What is it that you and my man Ridge wanted to request?"
"I want to fight the top combatant. The number one. I want my freedom."
"Well I've never had two fighters request a team match for freedom. I've never had ANYONE request a match against our top combatant against Rev after what she did to the first guy."
"What did she do to the first guy?" Ridge asked.
"The appropriate question would be what DIDN'T she do to the last guy."
"Oh." he said.
"Yeah. So. A team match where you two fight Rev for freedom? Well, I can do that, but she gets to have two less skilled combatants as compensation. It'll make the fight more interesting. It's just a technicality really. We always promised to follow that rule. Even though a team match was never explicitly stated, I think the rules should be the same. So there you have it. I'll give you two fine gentlemen access to the weapons room for 24 hours. Have fun," he said, and he motioned them out.
"One last thing, pal. I'd like another waterbender to patch me up one last time so I'm at my prime," Dosu said.
The man waved and had it done. A few minutes later, they were led to a large armory where there was everything Dosu and Ridge could've imagined.
"Have fun, boys," a female guard said.
"Oh don't worry," said Dosu, "We will."
As the two guards closed the door, Dosu sat down to work on some arrows. Ridge set about to finding armor.
"Oh by the way, Ridge. More company may be coming for me. Will you help me?"
Ridge grabbed a bow and pulled it back as he held up an arrow. He shot with precise accuracy. Years without bows and arrows had no effect on his skill. He smiled.
"The enemies of Dosu Kinuta are the enemies of Ridge. I'll help in anyway I can."
"Good. I'll need it."
As the two went about their business they got their equipment together. 23 hours later, Dosu had one new clothes, new scimitars about the same size as his old ones, a custom bow, several poisons, his knives, and a quiver of trick arrows on his back. He flipped a cover over the top of quiver, so they couldn't come out whenever Dosu dodged attacks. As he got up, Ridge had gotten himself a bow and several quivers of arrows. He smiled slyly and Dosu pulled out a knife and threw it with precise aim. It slammed into a nearby statue, sinking deep in.
"Feels good...." Ridge said, "To be back in business."
Dosu remained silent, but seemed to smile.
"Almost too good."
The guards opened the door.
"You two ready for the end?"
They walked out into the arena and Ridge looked over at Dosu. Dosu nodded as if to acknowledge that this was the moment of triumph.
As a young woman walked out into the arena the crowd cheered. She walked out and took off a large cape and threw it at someone in the crowd. As they went ballistic, two familiar faces stepped out with her. But their eyes were blank and lifeless. Dosu nearly dropped his swords.
"Ridge. We have a problem."
"What? What problem?"
"We can't kill the two kids with her."
"Why not?!"
"Because that's my paycheck."
"So what do we do?!"
"Well, dodge their attacks and keep after Rev. When she's down, we'll worry about them!"
Dosu dodged a massive stream of fire and then jumped out of the way as the earth moved underneath him in a huge wave.
"Ridge look out!"
"AW HORSE-"
Ridge jumped out the way of a huge fire whip and then leaped into the air to go over it. Dosu dodged it the same and they looked at eachother.
Things were about to get messy. Very messy.
-TheSecondSign- wrote: |
"Good. I'll need it." |
dude sweet one-liner
I felt good reading that (Sorta like LOTR when Legolas took down the Oilliphant and slide down its trunk)
Also nice plost twist- totally didn't see that one coming.
I'd subscribe but you post it for free
BaiMaoRieji wrote: |
*cough* Any comments on my post? |
ThatLostGuy wrote: | ||
|
*cough*
How about anybody commenting on my post.
*cough*
Double09nhalf wrote: | ||||||
Are you guys reading a hundred pages back i should do that sometime |
I am seriously reading Second signs posts. That's all. I know it's not the kind of story I was looking for to read, but a story is a strory, and Dosu is bad@$$. I used to think that name wasn't original, but it's sinking in a little. I don't know about the contraption for making slaves obedient though. Sounded a little far-fetched for the Avatar world. Also, keep in mind about the capabilities of the Avatar world as well. It's a bit stretched.
Mei-Chi, I was reading your story. And grammatically, I think you should be more acute, because your title is inncorrect grammatically, and during your story, its hard to read. The text is smushed and I suggest you use a font other than comic sans. It's, you know, nice and all, but It's kind of big and squibbly for me. And I suppose I'm ok with the impalcitation of the ice shards. On a scale from 1-10, I would give you a 6. Sorry. I'm also sorry that the system limits you, but it will stop limiting you once you earn more priveleges here at TV.com. Try writing some reviews for shows, that will help you level up. Then you can include more detail. I can see where you are coming from and I know that it is hard to write with that much space. Keep it up, keep posting and we will see what happens next.
Mei-chi, your Signature is done! Here is the URL. I will post message it to you too. http://i260.photobucket.com/albums/ii39/Dafooser/Banners/Mei-Chis-Sig.gif
Dark boy, you are posting with TLG, right? So these are in parts, so...Harabi is Willy, or something, and Dark boy is the first person, like he is attacking him, right? Anyways, good post. But I miss the continued sequences. I feel like I'm getting ripped off whenever there is a cliffhanger. Gaah, cliffs.
Bao, the post was kind of short, but there is some good character development in there, like the scars and the make-up. The monologue wasn't bad either.*cough* *cough* Is everyone catching the*cough* summer flu?*cough*
Redemption, You spelt Di-lee wrong, its Dai Li. No dashing either. As for the brainwashing, I am with Double09 on that one. But other than that, I will wait to see how you accomplish your Rping goal.
Redemption's, brother or cousin. Since you are RPing with us, I'm going to critisize you too. I think your posts are too short and should make more sense.
Double09nhalf; If you wondering, it's Pai Sho...and I liked the scene with the game, very good story about Mizuhiro playing pai sho. I now know of how it's played, I guess. (I kind of cheated when I described Pai sho in my story) That was good Double09, getting better.
Nice sig by the way, very nice, Who made it? I actually think it looks better to the left than if it was centered.
Whew, sorry I'm late. Really really busy. I will post again with another cool story. And redemption, if you want a sig, I'll be more than happy to make you one to replace your super sayan sig. Just give me some specifications in a PM message.
Dafoose wrote: | ||||||||
Dark boy,you are posting with TLG, right? So these are in parts, so...Harabi is Willy, or something, and Dark boy is the first person, like he is attacking him, right? Anyways, good post. But I miss the continued sequences. I feel like I'm getting ripped off whenever there is a cliffhanger. Gaah, cliffs. |
yea, Harabi is Willy
and as a wise old man once said "a good story has cliffhangers to force people to see the next of it"
Lord-darkboy wrote: | ||||||||||
yea, Harabi is Willy and as a wise old man once said "a good story has cliffhangers to force people to see the next of it" |
Thanks Dafoose
i was wondering how to spell Pai Sho
I tried to look it up and tried to use chapter reviews to see if they contained the word but I COULD FIND IT (serisously ticked me off)
In the post i tried to show off some of the archetecture in the western air temple (Didn't come out as good as i'd hoped)
What did you think of the lesson
it shows its importance later
Double09nhalf wrote: |
Thanks Dafoose i was wondering how to spell Pai Sho I tried to look it up and tried to use chapter reviews to see if they contained the word but I COULD FIND IT (serisously ticked me off) In the post i tried to show off some of the archetecture in the western air temple (Didn't come out as good as i'd hoped) What did you think of the lesson it shows its importance later |
I think it's clever. I'll have to see how it works out.
I'm writing right now. I hope everyone read my critisizms.
I'll take that wise advice, Darkboy.