I'd wanna be Squidward. No, no, don't laugh; Squidward's not *all* bad! After all, he's had a rough childhood, he's talented, and once you get past the fact that he's lacking in a decent hair(do), he's [in his words] "the most gorgeous creature in the sea!!"
Come on, Squidward fans; get your views across! He's [again in his words] "got looks; talent..."
"You may be thinking that this is your one shot at the big time. It isn’t. It’s *mine*." - Squidward, Culture Shock