SpongeBob SquarePants: Funniest Quote?

ShrinkinViolet
[1]Nov 5, 2010
member since: 09/02/10
level: 11
rank: Red Shirted Lt.
posts: 240
What do you think is the funniestquote in SpongeBob?

Here's a few of my favorites:

Patrick: SpongeBob SquarePants! What are you doing?

SpongeBob: I was only trying to help, Patrick!

Patrick: SpongeBob, everyone knows you always give a choking victim the slime-lech manuever first. And if that doesn't work...you walk away and pretend like you've never seen them before! (tries to help the clam, but breaks his back instead) Well, SpongeBob, I think I'll go and catch a movie.

SpongeBob: But what about the clam?

Patrick: What clam? I've never seen that calm before!

-Porous Pockets

SpongeBob: You okay, Patrick?

Patrick: FINLAND!

-Frakendoodle

SpongeBob: Yes, I'm saved! Your wife exploded!

-Single Cell Anniversary
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futuramarama
[2]Nov 5, 2010
member since: 07/12/09
level: 37
rank: Cylon
posts: 4,655
patrick's ugly barnacle story: "Once upon a time there was an ugly barnacle. He was so ugly that everyone died. The end."

i don't know if i have the exact quote right but you get the gist of it. that and his smile make me laugh every time
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ShrinkinViolet

[3]Nov 6, 2010

member since: 09/02/10
level: 11
rank: Red Shirted Lt.
posts: 240

futuramarama wrote:

patrick's ugly barnacle story: "Once upon a time there was an ugly barnacle. He was so ugly that everyone died. The end."

i don't know if i have the exact quote right but you get the gist of it. that and his smile make me laugh every time

Aw man, I forgot about that one! That's also one of my favorites!

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SpongebeachBob
[4]Nov 6, 2010
member since: 10/10/09
level: 14
rank: Autobot
posts: 1,428
Patrick raises his hand.
Pat: Is mayonaise an intrument?
Squid: No, Patrick. Mayonaise is NOT an instrument.
Patrick raises his hand again.
Squid: Horseradish is not an instrument, either...
Hand goes down

-Band Geeks
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NegiSpongie
[5]Nov 6, 2010
member since: 07/26/06
level: 20
rank: Cow Bell
posts: 1,672
(Chocolate With Nuts)
SPONGEBOB: Good afternoon, sir. Can we interest you in some chocolate?
FISH: Chocolate? Did you say chocolate?
PATRICK: Yes, sir. With or without nuts?
FISH: Chocolate...chocolate? (SpongeBob and Patrick back away) CHOCOLATE!!!! CHOCOLATE!!! CHOCOLATE!!!

(Wigstruck)
SQUIDWARD: Can't you see how ridiculous you look?
SPONGEBOB: Well, I think it looks cool.
MR. KRABS: Ha! You wouldn't know cool if I locked ya in the freezer.
SPONGEBOB: For your information, Squidward has locked me in the freezer, so I think I know what cool is.
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SpongebeachBob

[6]Nov 7, 2010

member since: 10/10/09
level: 14
rank: Autobot
posts: 1,428

NegiSpongie wrote:

(Chocolate With Nuts)
SPONGEBOB: Good afternoon, sir. Can we interest you in some chocolate?
FISH: Chocolate? Did you say chocolate?
PATRICK: Yes, sir. With or without nuts?
FISH: Chocolate...chocolate? (SpongeBob and Patrick back away) CHOCOLATE!!!! CHOCOLATE!!! CHOCOLATE!!!

(Wigstruck)
SQUIDWARD: Can't you see how ridiculous you look?
SPONGEBOB: Well, I think it looks cool.
MR. KRABS: Ha! You wouldn't know cool if I locked ya in the freezer.
SPONGEBOB: For your information, Squidward has locked me in the freezer, so I think I know what cool is.

So I can't have a wig OR a butt?

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CDCB
[7]Nov 7, 2010
member since: 12/27/08
level: 34
rank: Wardrobe Malfunction
posts: 1,952
SpongeBob: ...in my own dojo.
Mr. Krabs: Are you on some new allergy medication, boy?

That's one of my favorites.
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NegiSpongie
[8]Nov 9, 2010
member since: 07/26/06
level: 20
rank: Cow Bell
posts: 1,672
Another one of my favorites

Chocolate With Nuts
SPONGEBOB: Remember, Patrick, flatter the customer, make him feel good. (knocks on the door)
FISH: Yes?
PATRICK: I love you.
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CDCB
[10]Nov 10, 2010
member since: 12/27/08
level: 34
rank: Wardrobe Malfunction
posts: 1,952
I also like:

(from Chocolate With Nuts)

(guy slams door on Patrick's long eyes)
Patrick: (looking around) Nice place you got there.

(from Shanghaied)

(SpongeBob and Patrick jump off the Flying Dutchman's ship)
SB & Pat: That was a close one.
(They land back on it)
Flying Dutchman: Welcome back.
SB & Pat: (scream and jump off again) That was a closer one.
(They land back on it again)
Flying Dutchman: Welcome back!
(SB & Pat once again jump off and land back on)
Flying Dutchman: So, are you gonna try that again?
Patrick: Probably.
Flying Dutchman: (zaps Squidward with his nose for no reason)
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Misticblade723
[11]Nov 10, 2010
member since: 08/26/08
level: 3
rank: Soup Nazi
posts: 63
Patchy: Three bells! You know what that means!!!

Kids: Free ice cream!

Patchy: -Playfully- hahahaha! No you silly landlubbers... heheheh -Suddenly screams angrily- NO!
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CDCB
[12]Nov 11, 2010
member since: 12/27/08
level: 34
rank: Wardrobe Malfunction
posts: 1,952
Misticblade723 wrote:

Patchy: Three bells! You know what that means!!!

Kids: Free ice cream!

Patchy: -Playfully- hahahaha! No you silly landlubbers... heheheh -Suddenly screams angrily- NO!

I forgot about that one.

Another favorite from Band Geeks:

Squidward: (plays some notes) Brass section, go! (they play the same notes) Good. Now the wind. (they do the same) And the drums. (the drummers blow on their drum sticks, causing them to shoot out of their mouths and pin Squidward to the wall) Too bad that didn't kill me.
Edited on 11/11/2010 7:03am
Edited 2 total times.
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Misticblade723
[13]Nov 11, 2010
member since: 08/26/08
level: 3
rank: Soup Nazi
posts: 63
From The Paper

Squidward: *Plays the clarinet badly*

Spongebob: That was great! All those wrong notes you played made it sound more original!
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marebear2009

[14]Nov 12, 2010

member since: 07/13/08
level: 27
rank: Shark Jumper
posts: 164

futuramarama wrote:

patrick's ugly barnacle story: "Once upon a time there was an ugly barnacle. He was so ugly that everyone died. The end." i don't know if i have the exact quote right but you get the gist of it. that and his smile make me laugh every time

This is probably mine too.

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TheGeneral6198
[15]Nov 13, 2010
member since: 08/12/09
level: 7
rank: Talk Show Host
posts: 61
Too many to count, but here are some Patrick-specific ones:

"Where's the leak Ma'am?" -Frankendoodle

"Does this look dangerous?" -Hooky

"Hahaha! It's a giraffe!" -Bubble Stand

"The inner machinations of my mind are an enigma, (Milk spills). -The Secret Box

"Hahahah! He got hit in the head with a coconut!" -Rock-a-bye Bivalve

Edited on 11/13/2010 10:00am
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Afro-Boy36
[16]Nov 13, 2010
member since: 05/10/09
level: 8
rank: Super-Friend
posts: 332
Realtor Lady: What kind of fool do you take me for? He's Squidward, he's Squidward, you're Squidward, I'm Squidward! Are there anymore Squidwards I should know about?!

Gary: Meow.

-Opposite Day

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ShrinkinViolet
[17]Nov 14, 2010
member since: 09/02/10
level: 11
rank: Red Shirted Lt.
posts: 240
Here's another one I forgot about:

Mr. Krabs: What is the only way to get out of here (the Krusty Krab)?

Patrick: A high school diploma?

-Truth or Square.
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NegiSpongie
[18]Nov 14, 2010
member since: 07/26/06
level: 20
rank: Cow Bell
posts: 1,672
Here's a couple more...

Dying For Pie
MR. KRABS: You had to kill him? The boy cries you a sweater of tears, and you kill him. How are ya gonna live with yourself?

Blackened Sponge
SPONGEBOB: WHOO! FOOTBALL!
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Misticblade723
[19]Nov 14, 2010
member since: 08/26/08
level: 3
rank: Soup Nazi
posts: 63
Band Geeks (My favorite episode because Squidward wins for once)

Squidward: *Plays the clarinet badly*

Doctor: We're with the pet hospital down the street and we understand you have a dying animal on the premises.
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NegiSpongie
[20]Nov 17, 2010
member since: 07/26/06
level: 20
rank: Cow Bell
posts: 1,672
(Cethalapod Lodge)

SQUIDWARD: Were you dropped on your head when you were a baby?
SPONGEBOB: Hey, how did you know?
SQUIDWARD: Psychic powers.

(Squid's Day Off)
Squidward: Now repeat after me: You will not go back to the Krusty Krab.
SPONGEBOB: (in a mirror) I will destroy the Krusty Krab

SPONGEBOB: I'm sure you are.
SQUIDWARD: I don't like your tone.
SPONGEBOB: (higher-pitched) I'm sure you are!
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SpongeBob SquarePants Forums

Funniest Quote?

ShrinkinViolet

futuramarama

ShrinkinViolet

SpongebeachBob

NegiSpongie

SpongebeachBob

CDCB

NegiSpongie

CDCB

Misticblade723

CDCB

Misticblade723

marebear2009

TheGeneral6198

Afro-Boy36

ShrinkinViolet

NegiSpongie

Misticblade723

NegiSpongie