SpongeBob: But the door's locked and the only way out is through the... perfume department!

Flying Dutchman: I'll grant you 3 wishes.
Patrick: Make it 5!
Flying Dutchman: 4.
Patrick: 3! Take it or leave it!

Patrick: The inner machinations of my mind are an enigma...

Patrick: Is mayonnaise an instrument?
Squidward: No, Patrick. Mayonnaise is not an instrument.
*Patrick still has his hand raised*
Squidward: Horseradish isn't an instrument either.

Mr. Krabs: That'll be 5 bucks!
Patrick: I only got 7.
Mr. Krabs: Deal.
Patrick: Patrick Star, you are one smart shopper.

Squidward: Please sign the register.
Patrick: I didn't know there was gonna be a test! I didn't study!

Mr. Krabs: How do I know you're not a zombie?
SpongeBob: If I was a zombie, could I do this? *squeezes in through door*
Mr. Krabs: Okay, it's you.
SpongeBob: Now let me in!

[the sea bear comes back and resumes mauling Squid]
Squidward: What'd I do that time?
SpongeBob: I don't know! I guess he just doesn't like you.

Mr. Krabs: Planton!
Plankton: Krabs!
Mama Krabs: Eugene!
Mr. Krabs: Mommy?
Plankton: Mommy!?
SpongeBob: SpongeBob!
Mr. Krabs: SpongeBob!

SpongeBob: What’s a gorilla doing underwater in the first place?
Gorilla: Uh, well… it’s funny you should… I mean, you see, the… George, they’re onto us!
[a horse outfit runs up]
George: Let’s get out of here.

Mr. Krabs: The money is always right!

SpongeBob: Hey, Mr. Krabs!
Mr. Krabs: What is it, Spongebob?!
SpongeBob: I just wanted to tell you that Squidward loves you!

Patrick: You know what's funny? My pickle started out in a jar, and now it's in one again! Heh, it's like a pun or something. Heh-heh.