"You know how Facebook has these privacy settings?" Cat replied with a quiet voice. "Freddie's got a post for people on his friends list to see, but I think it's not visible to you and Carly."
"Well? What is it?"
"We're really happy that you're dating someone though!" Her eyes slanted and her finger tapped impatiently on the side of her laptop. What was the problem, why were they avoiding her?
"Cat…out with it…"
She watched Cat twirl her hair, groaning as Tori informed her they just didn't want her to be hurt. They were looking up Freddie's profile, that much was obvious. "Freddie said he kissed Carly before she left…" Sam's body froze and her eyes started to fill with terror. Freddie and Carly kissed? Why wouldn't Carly tell her? Cat leaned into the computer, reading the post. "He says he finally kissed the girl of his dreams, but she's moved away and he's feeling lonely, so he wants to hook up with his old girlfriend…"
Her heart instantly dropped from the high cloud it was on and smashed like a vase into the ground. "What!" She clutched her chest and slowly shook her head, Freddie was playing her, wasn't he? "T-That can't be-" The girls shared their screen and Freddie's post appeared before she had time to fall into denial. Sure enough, it was just as they said. A new post appeared, Freddie revealed that he just got a date with Sam for Saturday. Beneath his post, Gibby commented 'player'. Tears welled up in her eyes as she cupped her hand over her mouth. She was in too much shock to speak, and instantly wished Cat were here to give her a hug. Or Carly, but right now she wasn't sure if she should be angry with Carly or not. Carly kissed Freddie, she broke the 'bro/girl code' and kissed him, then didn't even tell her! She could have taken it had Carly told her. Why hadn't she told her?
"Sam we're sorry, we had to tell you."
"I know, I just don't know how to react to this…" She looked to the cell phone beside her left leg and slowly breathed in. "I have to call Carly. I need to know why she didn't…" Breathing was difficult and her chest was beginning to ache. Her fears were coming true, she really was only second fiddle. Instinctively she grabbed her phone and dialed Carly's number, praying she could hold back on the anger. "Come on, pick up Carly…"
After three rings, Carly answered. Her chipper voice was no aid to the fury Sam was feeling inside. She let out the accusation, questioning why her friend wouldn't tell her she kissed Freddie. Her speech was so quick and her aggravation intense that she wasn't even allowing Carly a moment to explain. "Sam, Sam hold on. Let me talk, Sam, please!"
She ceased her hurt and angry rant, tears dripping down her cheek. "What!"
"Breathe…breathe, Sam…"
"I don't know whether to be hurt, angry, betrayed…how am I supposed to feel about this, Carly? We swore…"
"I know, and I'm sorry. I don't know what I was thinking, I just, I knew I'd miss him. Maybe a part…look, there's no excuse. I didn't tell you because, I thought it would be done with. I didn't even want to talk about it. I was protecting you, Sam…"
"A lot of good that did, Carly…He posted online that he finally got to kiss you, but can't be with you, so he's hooking up with his old girlfriend. I'm second fiddle! Again!" She didn't mean to yell at Carly, she wasn't angry at her. Certainly her friend meant well.
"I'm sorry Sam, I…I really am. It was a mistake, I honestly don't feel anything for him. It's just…I can't explain it, Sam."
"It's fine, just, I'm not going to date him. I can't. I'm sick of this." Her stomach was knotting up and bile had set her throat aflame. She couldn't even think about Freddie now without puking. "I can't believe how fickle he is! You know what Cat and Tori said, Carly?" Carly hummed, letting Sam get her venting out of the way. "They said a fickle person is still a cheater! They're so choosy they can't make up their mind. I…I'm not sure I even want to see his face again."
"What are you going to do? Talk to him about it?"
"I can't do that, Carly. He probably doesn't even realize what he's doing…" She looked to Skype and realized Cat and Tori were still on. The two girls were talking with each other about some random stuff regarding school, probably so they wouldn't interfere with Sam's personal call. She heard Tori say something about the apartment Cat was getting, held her breath and closed her eyes. "Actually Carly…" This wasn't a decision to make in the heat of the moment, but what else did she have? She always ran from her problems, how should this be any different? She couldn't trust Freddie, not with him being as fickle as he was. "I think I know what I can do…"
"Sam?"
"I'm done with him. Done with Freddie, done with Gibby…Cat needs a roommate and there are some great colleges around Hollywood Arts. I kind of like the thought of going into education, maybe theater." She heard her friend gasp, stunned that Sam would even consider moving away. Cat and Tori glanced at the screen from the corner of their eyes. "I know I said I'd still be his friend, but…I'm a little nervous to even talk to him now. I just need time to think…to consider this…"
"Sam…I'm sorry…I really, really am."
"It's okay Carly." The tears burned her retinas as she swallowed down the bile in her throat. "Freddie never got over you. Ever. Even when we dated, I'm sure. I'm done with him."
"You do deserve a guy that would choose you first. I'm sure you'll find one…"
"Hey, don't forget the L.A. boys!" Tori and Cat chimed happily. Sam laughed at their remark, remembering the video that Cat sent her of the duo singing the song about the LA boys to Beck, Andre, and Robbie. She and Cat had many jokes regarding the 'hotness scale' of the men in LA. "College guys are pretty hot."
"Y-Yeah…there's one way to look at it, Carly." She heard Carly question the comment, having not heard Cat or Tori. She breathed it in and slowly exhaled. "I think I might find someone better down there…" Cat had two brothers, one older and one younger. The younger was the one with a bunch of mental drama, the elder was the one letting Cat rent his apartment while he went overseas, due to his active military duty. She'd talked to the elder brother a few times in the past, he was extremely attractive, andshe always did like a man in uniform. "Maybe I can finish up my school at Hollywood Arts…" She put her phone on speaker so Carly could hear the girls.
"HA has a great drama program!" Cat enthused, "You'd love Mr. Sikowitz. He said he got his teaching from a nearby university with one of the best theater arts and education programs around! You can get scholarships and stuff, or even loans."
"Go for it," Carly replied. Sam moaned inwardly and huffed, still fifty-fifty. "Do you want me to talk to Freddie for you?"
"No…I still have to think, but I am not going out with him." She needed to cool down and not let her anger get the better of her. She didn't forget what happened with Jonah, and he never let her forget about it anytime they saw one another at school. She'd gone too far with the bounce machine, considering Jonah acknowledged he did something stupid, two wrongs never made a right. "Carly, if you ever came back, do you think you would go out with him?"
"I don't know…he may not realize that he hurt you, but he still hurt my best friend. If he still had feelings for you, he would never have you know…let the kiss happen…"
"I don't care if you date him now or not."
"I wouldn't do it," Tori remarked, "I mean think about it. It's the same situation I had with Beck. Beck wanted me to kiss him, but I didn't want to betray Jade like that because she still had feelings for him. Clearly Sam has feelings for Freddie, but after this…"
"Yeah. Anyway, we'll let you think about it…"
"I do need some time."
It didn't take long for her to figure out what she was going to do. The call of Hollywood Arts was too great for her, she'd just have to audition and get in. As she stopped the motorcycle on the stoplight, she thought back to Freddie and iCarly, these things would be missed, but it was for the best that she leave. She sent Freddie a text saying she wasn't going to go out with him and needed time to think, that she would talk about it later. She needed to cool down before she bitched him out for what he did. One day, when he decided to play fickle with another pair of women, he'd get his just desserts then.
Carly, still her best friend, was grateful for her not being angry with her about what happened with Freddie. She was going to try and remain in touch with Carly as often as possible, but no one was too sure how to patch the friendship with Freddie. It could be done, but only when she was able to move onward and forget the whole mess.
She spoke with Cat's elder brother, who was amazed she was going to move down. There was a deadline for Cat picking her roommate, and that was whenever the brother was to ship off. He asked Sam out for coffee to chat about the apartment. Sam hoped maybe there would be something more there, but she'd have to see. The future held many mysteries, all she was ready and willing to explore.
As the light flicked green, she took one last look towards Bushwell Plaza in the distance. She flicked away a tear, revved her motorcycle, and sped off. Before leaving, in the text conversation she and Freddie had, he had continually asked why she changed her mind and why she was leaving. She offered no response, only telling him she'd found a friend to stay with for a while. His last text struck an emotional chord in her, one that beckoned a response, to which she gave none.
"I guess then, this is goodbye."
