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DARK AVATAR: Chapter 6 Halfway done! NEED COMMENTS PLZ

  • Avatar of Vampdude69

    Vampdude69

    [41]Nov 17, 2006
    • member since: 09/25/06
    • level: 6
    • rank: Small Wonder
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    Avatar: The Last Airbender
    Book 4: Shadow

    Chapter 4: Spirit's Shadow

    PREVIOUSLY ON AVATAR:

    "Your destiny, is to collect the three Scrolls of Prophecy. Shadow, Light, then Balance. Each one, gives you a new bending power. First, you must get Shadow, then Light, then last, Balance. After you get the scrolls, you must kill the Avatar, and if he is killed by you, the Avatar Cycle is broken. He will also try to collect the scrolls."
    This kid must be a master Airbender! He can jump easily to the highest branch! Who is this guy?

    "Don't let me catch you around me again," the boy said. "Or next time, I won't leave you alive."

    That night when Appa was flying through the brisk air, Aang remembered the dual broadswords.
    "Why did he have to have broadswords?" Aang asked himself.
    They only reminded him of an old friend.
    Two old friends...

    -

    Appa and the gang flew out of the forest. Aang had never told Katara and Sokka what happened to him. They just kept flying, and flying, and flying. Aang saw a river ahead. Katara and Sokka were sleeping, so Aang decided to land to let Appa get a little rest. When Aang jumped down from Appa's saddle, he noticed something on the ground.
    They looked like a pair of...broadswords!! No..wait, they were just sticks.
    What is so important about some stupid broadswords! Why do they mean so much to me?

    Aang splashed some water on his face, and he bended the rest of it off, and back into the water. Then, he thought he heard laughter behind him.
    "Hello?" Aang said. "Who's there?"
    No one answered.

    That night, while flying through the air, Aang heard a voice. It was Avatar Roku!
    "Aang, I need to talk to you," he said.

    "About what?" Aang replied.

    "About your new destiny. You need to find the three Scrolls of Prophecy. They are Light, Shadow, and Balance. You need to find them in that order."
    "What is so important about those scrolls?" Aang asked.

    "They will help you defeat the Dark Avatar," Roku said,

    "Who is that?" Aang asked.
    "I'm not entirely sure, but you would need to find knowledge of the scrolls from someone who would know, basically everything," Roku said.

    "I need to find the Knowledge Spirit," Aang said.

    "Exactly," Roku replied.

    -

    He put his hand on the ground and used his bending to find the one he was hunting.
    He is looking for Wan-Shi-Tong. This'll be easier than I thought.

    He stood up, and bended a stand-on glider out of??air energy, and started his journey towards the desert.

    -

    Appa flew towards the desert, and the heat already started to hit them. Sweat dripped down Sokka's face and he groaned.

    "Why are we back in the stupid desert! I don't wanna go back to that library!" he yelled.

    "Sokka, stop being a baby," Katara said. She slapped him in the face with a water whip.

    "OWWWWWWW!!!" he yelled.

    "Where is the library?" Aang asked. "It used to be right here!"

    He landed Appa and jumped onto the ground. He felt around for it.
    "Oh yeah, Wong Shi Tong sunk it," he said. "Okay guys, stand back".

    He used his most powerful earthbending to move a part of the library out of the ground, the steeple that they has seen before. Aang jumped into the window and poked his head out.
    "This is something I have to do, you guys wait here," he said.

    Aang slid down the side of the wall and landed on the bridge. He heard of wind whip.
    "That must be Wong Shi Tong," Aang said to himself. "I need to find him!"

    He took out his glider and flew down under the bridge following the sounds of the owl.

    -

    "Whats taking Aang so long?" Sokka groaned again.
    "Sokka! Stop whining, he'll be out soon!" Katara said.
    Appa grunted.
    "What is it Appa?" Katara asked.

    Momo screeched and looked towards the middle of the desert.

    "Momo, there is nothing out there! What are you looking at?" she asked.

    A huge sand wall flew right at them and pushed Sokka, Katara and Momo back. Appa roared and stood his ground.

    Sand came out of the ground that looked like chains and flew around Appa.
    "Appa!" Katara yelled.
    Sand grasped around Katara and Sokka's feet.
    "Let us go!" Katara yelled.
    "No," the voice said. It sounded dark, but young like them.
    "Who are you?' Sokka asked.

    "I'm here for the Avatar," he said.
    "I SAID WHO ARE YOU?" Sokka yelled.

    "I'm your worst nightmare," he said.

    -

    Aang landed on a bridge near the bottom of the library. Spider webs were everywhere and he couldn't see his hand in front of his face. He lit a flame and held it upwards in his hand. He walked towards a bookshelf.
    "Where are you?" Aang yelled.
    He heard a faint roar. And a smash of stone.

    "Where are you?" Aang yelled again.
    "I'm right here," the spirit said behind him.

    "Wong Shi Tong!" Aang said.

    "Why have you returned to my library?" he asked.

    "I need your help great spirit. I need to defeat an enemy that threats us all, even you. I need to find the three scrolls, Light, Shadow and Balance. Would you have any idea where they are?" Aang asked.
    "No enemy could possibly harm me!" Wong Shi Tong said.

    "Thats not the point! I need to find these scrolls!" Aang said.

    "They are-" he paused.
    "Hello?" Aang asked.
    "Go back to Ba Sing Se and go to your old apartment. There you will find??a clue," he said.
    "Why won't you just tell me where the Light Scroll is!" Aang said.

    "Your destiny won't let me do that, you have a greater journey than just finding the scroll," he said.
    Suddenly, Aang felt a dark prescene.
    Wong Shi Tong shook.
    "Well, I'll be going, thank you very much," Aang said.
    "You're not going anywhere," Wong Shi Tong said.
    "What?" Aang asked.
    "You will never get those scrolls," he said.

    Aang grabbed his glider and started to fly upwards towards the steeple.
    Wong Shi Tong reached out his neck and Aang looked down, and saw his eyes. They were black as tar.
    "No," Aang said.

    He flew out to the steeple, and he landed next to Appa. The library sank back into the ground.
    He turned around, and Katara and Sokka were sitting there, grunting. They were trying to remove something.
    "What are you guys doing?" Aang asked.
    "There is something stuck on our arms!" Katara said.

    It was a black jewel in the middle of their hand. It looked like an eye, except black.
    Suddenly it started to glow.

    Katara stood up, and opened her eyes, and they looked exactly like Wong Shi Tong's. Sokka as well.
    The boy from the forest landed his glider on the ground next to his new puppets.

    "Sweet trick isn't it?" he said. "I can take over someone's body. Hahaha," he laughed.
    "Who are you?" Aang asked him.
    "I am the Dark Avatar, and I didn't know who you were last time, and now, I'm not holding back," he said.
    He drew out his dual broadswords and lunged them at Aang. He blocked them with his staff and it took the dual blows quite easily. Aang bended four rocks in front of him but the Dark Avatar just cut through them.

    "I'll take a break," Dark Avatar said. "Lets see you fight your friends".

    Katara and Sokka charged at Aang and he was shocked.
    "I can't fight my own friends!" he said.

    "Thats why I am stronger," Dark Avatar said, and he laughed.
    Suddenly Aang got hit by Katara's water whip.
    "I guess I have to," Aang said.
    He stopped her water whip with a sand whip, and she just brought the water back from the ground.
    She laughed and Aang shivered when he saw her dark eyes.
    "Katara! Stop!" Aang yelled.

    The Dark Avatar laughed at the side, but he remembered what The Grand Master told him.??He needs to kill the Avatar when he has all three scrolls.

    He ripped the jewels off Sokka and Katara and they fell to the ground.
    "You're lucky destiny was on your side Avatar," he said.

    He made his glider and flew away from them.
    Aang put Sokka and Katara on Appa's back. He was about to take off, when a tear slid out of his eye, and he looked back at Katara. He slid her eyelids open slightly, and he felt relieved.


    Comments would be appreciated. Please I need some.

    Edited on 11/20/2006 3:50pm
    Edited 2 total times.
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  • Avatar of Vampdude69

    Vampdude69

    [42]Nov 17, 2006
    • member since: 09/25/06
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    *bump* finishing chap 4

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  • Avatar of Vampdude69

    Vampdude69

    [43]Nov 17, 2006
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    *bump*
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  • Avatar of Vampdude69

    Vampdude69

    [44]Nov 20, 2006
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    *bump*
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  • Avatar of masterofaeons

    masterofaeons

    [45]Nov 20, 2006
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    99 posts and all but 6 are bumps.
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  • Avatar of Tv-man117

    Tv-man117

    [46]Nov 20, 2006
    • member since: 10/09/06
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    Your only doing 5 chapters? just wondering.
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  • Avatar of Vampdude69

    Vampdude69

    [47]Nov 20, 2006
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    Tv-man117 wrote:
    Your only doing 5 chapters? just wondering.

    20

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  • Avatar of Tv-man117

    Tv-man117

    [48]Nov 20, 2006
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    Oh ok
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  • Avatar of Vampdude69

    Vampdude69

    [49]Nov 20, 2006
    • member since: 09/25/06
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    NEED COMMENTS!!!!!!!
    They would be appreciated
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  • Avatar of Tv-man117

    Tv-man117

    [50]Nov 20, 2006
    • member since: 10/09/06
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    I think you should just post the whole chapter at once, but that might just be me.
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  • Avatar of Eman5805

    Eman5805

    [51]Nov 20, 2006
    • member since: 11/05/04
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    Does the DA have an actual name? If you mentioned it I may have just missed it somewhere...
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  • Avatar of Tv-man117

    Tv-man117

    [52]Nov 21, 2006
    • member since: 10/09/06
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    Eman5805 wrote:
    Does the DA have an actual name? If you mentioned it I may have just missed it somewhere...


    Ya hes right you should think of a name, but its up to you
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  • Avatar of Vampdude69

    Vampdude69

    [53]Nov 21, 2006
    • member since: 09/25/06
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    Tv-man117 wrote:
    Eman5805 wrote:
    Does the DA have an actual name? If you mentioned it I may have just missed it somewhere...
    Ya hes right you should think of a name, but its up to you

    SPOILER: He does have a name, lol.
    Remember the scrolls that the GM dropped into the hole?
    I'm workin on Chap 5

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  • Avatar of Vampdude69

    Vampdude69

    [54]Nov 21, 2006
    • member since: 09/25/06
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    Avatar: The Last Airbender

    Book 4: Shadow

    Chapter 5: The Caves


    PREVIOUSLY ON AVATAR:
    "The Prophecy says one will defy Destiny. The Prophecy, will be fulfilled," he said. He took two scrolls out of his pockets, and Earthbended a hole open. He dropped the scrolls down the hole, and shut the hole.

    "Sweet trick isn't it?" he said. "I can take over someone's body. Hahaha," he laughed.
    "You're lucky destiny was on your side Avatar," he said.

    -

    Dark Avatar landed his glider on the edge of the desert.
    "I need water!" he screamed. He was so fed up with trying to find the stupid scrolls. And he was sick of the desert.
    He tried to see if there was any water in the ground, but no luck. He looked to the west, and in the desert, he saw a hole going down like a tunnel.
    "Is that a cave?" he asked himself. He walked forward and inspected it.
    The tunnel went down and he couldn't see anything past the entrance.
    "I've got nothing to lose," he said.

    He walked into the dark tunnel and it was refreshingly cool.
    "Oh yeah, thats the life," he said to himself.
    He walked forward, and he noticed a fork in the tunnels.

    "Oh great a maze," he said. He walked to the right path, and he looked around at the walls. There was blood, all over them.
    "What the.." he said. Then suddenly he heard a screech, then??multiple screeches.

    "What was that?" he said to himself.
    Suddenly, he saw little creatures running on the walls towards him.

    "Okay, shouldn't have taken the tunnel," he said.
    He took out his broadswords and killed 4 of the little creatures.
    "What are these things?" he said.

    He ran through the tunnel and past the tiny creatures. He reached a giant circular room. A pedestal was in the middle, and a scroll was lying there.
    "The Balance Scroll!" he said. He ran towards it, and it wasn't the balance scroll.
    "What the heck is this?" he said. But before he could open it, the creatures were swarming in from every direction.
    "Ok, gotta run," he said. He made his glider and flew out of the tunnel nearest to him. He landed outside, on the ground.
    "Where am I?" he said.
    He looked around and he was by the Outer Wall of Ba Sing Se.
    "How did I get all the way out here?" he asked himself.

    He opened the scroll he was still clutching.
    It said one single word on it.

    Zeph

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  • Avatar of Vampdude69

    Vampdude69

    [55]Nov 21, 2006
    • member since: 09/25/06
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    Little Discussion:
    Discuss the first 5 chapters if you want.

    Chapter Six Will be up soon.

    I NEED COMMENTS PLZ

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  • Avatar of mblizzow

    mblizzow

    [56]Nov 24, 2006
    • member since: 11/21/06
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    Vampdude69 wrote:

    Okay guys, please leave some comments, or I will not continue.
    Unless you don't want me to continue....



    hey keep them coming, having someone deviate off of the traditional avatar path is interesting and i like it.
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  • Avatar of Tv-man117

    Tv-man117

    [57]Nov 24, 2006
    • member since: 10/09/06
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    Chapters need to be longer for sure. Also maybe describe the Dark Avatar's appereance all i know is he is a boy. Your grammer is fine, no problem there. Keep it up though.
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  • Avatar of Vampdude69

    Vampdude69

    [58]Nov 25, 2006
    • member since: 09/25/06
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    Avatar: The Last Airbender
    Book 4: Shadow

    Chapter Six: The Anti-World

    PREVIOUSLY ON AVATAR:
    "Your destiny, is to collect the three Scrolls of Prophecy. Shadow, Light, then Balance. Each one, gives you a new bending power. First, you must get Shadow, then Light, then last, Balance. After you get the scrolls, you must kill the Avatar, and if he is killed by you, the Avatar Cycle is broken. He will also try to collect the scrolls.

    "What is so important about some stupid broadswords! Why do they mean so much to me?

    "Go back to Ba Sing Se and go to your old apartment. There you will find??a clue," he said

    Sweet trick isn't it?" he said. "I can take over someone's body. Hahaha," he laughed.

    He opened the scroll he was still clutching.
    It said one single word on it.

    Zeph

    -

    The gang had been flying for days from the Wong-Shi-Tong desert. They were just over The Serpent's Pass, when Appa started to get tired.

    "No Appa, come on buddy!" Aang said. "Don't give up on us now!"

    Appa grunted in reply, and kept flying. When they made it over the last of the water, Appa landed, and fell asleep.

    "Take a rest buddy," Aang said. "You deserve it."
    Sokka and Katara jumped down from the saddle with their sleeping bags.
    "Do you really believe Wong-Shi-Tong abou returning to Ba-Sing-Se?" Katara asked. "He was under control of the Dark Avatar, wasn't he?"
    "No, he was controlled after he told me I have a greater destiny or something," Aang replied.
    Sokka grunted and fell on his back. "It always has to be tough for us, doesn't it?" he said.

    "Sokka, stop," Katara said. She rubbed Appa's forehead, then unrolled her sleeping bag.
    "Good night guys," Katara said. Sokka was already sleeping, but Aang was nowhere to be found. She stood up and walked to the edge of the water.
    "Aang?" she asked.

    "What is it Katara?" he said.

    "What's wrong?" she asked.

    "I just, I don't know. I thought my duty as the Avatar was to bring balance to the world. And I did that by defeating Ozai. But, this Dark Avatar has the same destiny as me. He is tougher, I've fought him several times, and lost. I don't know if I can defeat him. He can take over anyone, and when I had to fight you, I was torn up inside."
    "Its okay Aang," she replied. "Thats not all thats bothering you, is it?"

    "No, I miss them so much since that day," he said.

    "It wasn't your fault. They snuck up while we were sleeping. We'll find them someday," she said.

    "I guess," Aang replied.

    That night while they were sleeping, Aang dreamed about the attack on them that day...

    They were all sleeping, on the side of the mountain. They had just reached the Fire Nation, and some strange men snuck up from the rocks. They wore all black armor, and their swords were black on the tips and handles. They grabbed his two friends, and put something on them. Aang imagined himself waking up, and seeing his two friends dragged off. How could he lose them, some of his two best friends in the world-

    INTERMISSION

    I will finish later sorry!

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