I didn't report his posts though, so I guess the troll is gone not by me. :/
I wonder if he still wants to RP with us. 0o
Nickelodeon (ended 2008)
I didn't report his posts though, so I guess the troll is gone not by me. :/
I wonder if he still wants to RP with us. 0o
BradyTheRandom wrote: |
2 and a half years a still going strong. |
Well, I want to post my story this weekend, but again, I will be extremely busy possibly, with a paper on interest groups and an application for a leadership position.
I am almost ready to post myself. I got a question dafoose:
I always thought that this world was one that spun around the tv series but did not include it. That is to say that there is an avatar (but for the most part) we don't use him or other characters from the show.
I know I'm being anal about the whole thing but I consider it to be on the right side of the fine line (right = good)
I CANNOT WAIT FOR THE FREAKIN MOVIE GHAAAAA!
I seriously wish i could see it with one of you guys but that's how people go missing
will post soon
Double09nhalf wrote: |
I CANNOT WAIT FOR THE FREAKIN MOVIE GHAAAAA! |
No! Do it not! Hollywood has Racebended (racebent? note to self, standardize a past-tense form of bend.) the entire main cast, completely disrespecting the cultures that made this show so great. Not only that, but they specifically asked for non-whites to stay in the background and do arts and crafts. BoycottI say, Boycott!!!
Note: Post to come whenever the hell I feel like it. Deal with it, foo.
BaiMaoRieji wrote: | ||
No! Do it not! Hollywood has Racebended (racebent? note to self, standardize a past-tense form of bend.) the entire main cast, completely disrespecting the cultures that made this show so great. Not only that, but they specifically asked for non-whites to stay in the background and do arts and crafts. BoycottI say, Boycott!!! Note: Post to come whenever the hell I feel like it. Deal with it, foo. |
ThatLostGuy wrote: |
THE CHAMP IS HERE! |
Where? all I see is fail.
BaiMaoRieji wrote: | ||
No! Do it not! Hollywood has Racebended (racebent? note to self, standardize a past-tense form of bend.) the entire main cast, completely disrespecting the cultures that made this show so great. Not only that, but they specifically asked for non-whites to stay in the background and do arts and crafts. BoycottI say, Boycott!!! Note: Post to come whenever the hell I feel like it. Deal with it, foo. |
BaiMaoRieji wrote: | ||
Where? all I see is fail. |
confucioussayhi wrote: | ||||
I concur with Chad's earlier posting statement. Most likely Monday. P.S. WTF are we missing like 8 posts at the top of the page? |
Uh so are we discussing the movie in here about Avatar? Then how come the title says RPG-create your own bender? Do we create a bender in here? Like a fire lava-rock bender who is a Fire Nation soldier? This puzzles me. But besides benders its great that a movie is in production, we can all see these elemental benders in live-action! I will forever love the anime version and its movie.
Dafoose wrote: | ||
Mmmm...i like where you're coming from, but you need to make it unrelated to the show. We don't RP about the show, we RP in our own world. thas why it's called "Create your own bender RPG." not "Use a bender from the show and weave a story with the same characters." Sorry to be harsh. However, the character you made, age, occupation, and somewhat unrelated background are all cool. Just think of a different story to write about, since we are RPing in a different world. For example, the avatar, (who has not posted in a while) is lorddarkboy (Almost as bad as "Willy Woo", but hey.) But we pretend we don't have an Avatar, since he stopped posting. Well I do, it makes my story better. nice pic.
BTW guys, I'm sorry I didn't post on sunday, I had a lot of crap to do, I was aching from running, and I was sick, and I was playing Left 4 Dead and I killed bout 4,000 zombies. Don't worry, the zombies will not come into the rpg. |
Rock_Goddess_18 wrote: |
Uh so are we discussing the movie in here about Avatar? Then how come the title says RPG-create your own bender? Do we create a bender in here? Like a fire lava-rock bender who is a Fire Nation soldier? This puzzles me. But besides benders its great that a movie is in production, we can all see these elemental benders in live-action! I will forever love the anime version and its movie. |
Dafoose wrote: |
Actually, did you hear? Dev patel is going to play zuko. Many fans are anxious to see how this turns out. And regardless whether or not the movie is a flop, I am a die hard fan, and I will camp out a day before, invite the refugees in my district to go to the same movie theatre with me, hold a sign that says "Avatar Fandom come with me." And be the first to go into the show. That is how much I want to see it with my friends. Double09, i wishes I could see it with you too. Nothing like sharing the fandom. |
Aye, and I with you my fellow rper
(On a minor note i wish they'ld put more quality into the video games)
Anywho here's my next post. I no that their missing some sort of quality but i can't figure it out. I no what the story is, events and all, but the quality of the individual writing escapes me. Dafoose, someday when i finish the story, I will ask for your help in editing it and then i want to hand it over to the original creators of the Avatar World. I know it's a bit much but a guy can dream can't he.
//////////////////
Siam - airbender
Iwao - earthbender
Mrs Yoji - earthbender
Introducing two new character's - unkown
~~The ranch is under attack and Siam/ Iwao are leaving the cave~~
/////////////////
Siam and Iwao raced towards the exit of the cave while the caged animals displayed their anxiety.
"Look out," cried Iwao pushing Siam away as a massive bird cage tip over nearly crushing them both.
"Iwao!"
Siam watched the cage smash to the floor allowing the frantic birds to escape in a bundle of feathers. As the feathers fell to the ground Siam looked at the wreckage in shock.
"Wow! I'm glad that didn't hit me," exclaimed Iwao as he arose from the cave floor.
Siam did a double take looking at Iwao and smacked him across the face. She then walked off in a huff leaving the boy to rub his stinging face.
"Did you miss me that much?"
As Siam reached the cave's exit she could feel the chill from the sheets of rain spraying the entrance with a fine mist. Suddenly Siam spotted a lone figure advancing toward the cave. Not certain who he or she was Siam hide behind a nearby boulder and waited. As the person entered the cave's opening Siam figured out who it was.
"Mrs. Yoji! But what is going on outside? Are we being attacked?"
Hana was about to reply when her son walked up still rubbing his sore cheek.
"Hi mom. So, who are these guys?"
"I still don't know who... What happened to your face?"
"I slapped him," proclaimed Siam as she crossed her arms.
"Why did you...," began Mrs. Yoji. But instead of talking the woman proceeded to pick her son up by the collar.
"Iwao, did you touch her?!"
"What? Of course not," said the boy helplessly. "I did push her out of the way when the bird cage collapsed. She thought that I had been crushed and decided to slap me when I popped out of the ground. And I still don't know what I did to deserve it!"
As Mrs. Yoji lowered the boy she started rubbing her temples in despair. "Siam? Are you kidding me? I mean honestly..."
Siam started turning bright red but turned her back towards the two of them. "He should not scare me like that."
"You know what, I give up," said Mrs. Yoji throwing her hands up in defeat. "Ok, change of subject. I'm not sure how many we are facing but I am not taking any chances. Iwao, I want you to take Siam into the house and I will submerge it and I don't want to hear another word or else I will throttle you like I was about to."
Still wondering what the hell was going on, Iwao just stood there and nodded- stood there and nodded. But Siam wasn't very content.
"But what if you need help. I can't just sit around and wait."
"Even with the current situation I am still in a slightly good mood and am willing to overlook your shenanigans right now but I am losing my patience. I am going to go face whoever's out there and I don't need to be thinking about collateral damage! Now Iwao, I want you to take Siam with you and make a break for the house. Siam, I want you to go with my son and to behave yourself."
Both Iwao and Siam started to protest but the Mrs. Yoji had already walked away.
~~~~~~~~~~~~
A mile to the south the two figures approached the house. The one on the ground walked with a limp in his step while the other strolled across the sky on patches of ice with an icy umbrella over her head.
"The rain, the rain," the girl said in a melancholy tone. "Oooh, brother... may I?"
The brother looked up with faded eyes at his counterpart. His body language announced that he was annoyed but his face gave no notice. He put three fingers to the base of his neck and covered the hole in his throat.
"You may proceed," said the brother as he sunk into the ground.
The sister immediately started sprinting across the sky leaving a trail of ice that crumpled to the muddy ground. As she ran she raised her hands above her head causing thousands of icy shards to form in the sky. She then flung every last one of them at her target. The ground now looked like a porcupine as she neared the ranch.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Siam tried to look around but couldn't see a thing. She hadn't seen the attack but at the last second Iwao had formed a dome out of the ground. She started walking forward with her hands extended but pricked her finger on something sharp. She was about to air-bend a hole but the wall started crumbling. It was then that she saw the icicles that had almost puncture her lying on the ground. Her awe was interrupted by someone yelling.
"Siam, Siam," pleaded Mrs. Yoji as she tied off a graze to her arm. "Iwao grab Siam and run into the house, quickly!"
Siam turned around only to be picked up by Iwao as he ran towards the house. Her resentment of this treatment turned to fear as a massive skull rose behind them and swallowed them whole. In the darkness she felt weightless as air flew up in her face. Siam realized they were falling when Iwao stuck his arms out to slow their descent. As they hit ground Siam tumbled into the darkness leaving Iwao at the exit to their descent. Siam tried to get to her feet but being shaky from the fall, fell to her knees.
"Iwao," She called out desperately.
"Hold on Siam. It will be alright," called out Iwao. "I've almost got it... there they are."
A glow suddenly appeared out of nowhere and orbited Iwao. As Siam's eyes adjusted she saw multiple tiny rocks that gave off a bright glow. As more stones arose from the ground the surrounding cave light up. Iwao then crushed the stones into a fine dust and scattered it throughout the cave's surface. Siam could now see everything in the low light. A hundred feet away she and Iwao made out a strange object that looked like a throne. Sitting in the throne was a person with a black cloak over his head.
"Welcome to my subterranean lair," the cloaked person spoke with a raspy voice.
/////////////////
creepy with a side order of weird?
Ok, I'm going to give some tips:
When Mrs. Yoji is addressed "Mrs. Yoji! But what is going on outside? Are we being attacked?" Just eliminate the "But." I know it's dialogue, but people don't speak with a "But" after addressing somebody unless it's liek, "But Mrs. Yoji...why? or Mrs. Yoji?? But...why fill-in-the-blank."
To make things easier to read, group topics together. Sometimes I get lost because I read it over, and an enter key is hit after half a line of words. A subject in your story should be typed as long as it is covered. For example, you could group:
(also note I am going to edit tihs in the comparison for you to learn from.)
Siam and Iwao raced towards the exit of the cave while the caged animals displayed their anxiety.
"Look out," cried Iwao pushing Siam away as a massive bird cage tip over nearly crushing them both.
"Iwao!"
Siam watched the cage smash to the floor allowing the frantic birds to escape in a bundle of feathers. As the feathers fell to the ground Siam looked at the wreckage in shock.
"Wow! I'm glad that didn't hit me," exclaimed Iwao as he arose from the cave floor.
Siam did a double take looking at Iwao and smacked him across the face. She then walked off in a huff leaving the boy to rub his stinging face.
"Did you miss me that much?"
Into...
Siam and Iwao raced towards the exit of the cave while the caged animals displayed their anxiety. "Look out!" cried Iwao. He pushed Siam away from a massive bird cage tipping over, nearly crushing them. "Iwao!" (Who said this???) Siam watched the cage smash on the floor, allowing the frantic birds to escape in a bundle of feathers. The feathers fell to the ground and Siam looked at the wreckage feeling shocked. "Wow! I'm glad that didn't hit me," exclaimed Iwao, as he arose from the cave floor. Siam did a double take looking at Iwao and smacked him across the face. She walked off in a huff leaving Iwao rubbing his stinging face. "Did you miss me that much?" (Said Iwao???)
Overall, this makes a great paragraph, but the layout needs to be more like this. It takes up less space. Also, don't forget to say who said what. And remember, the main problem with the english language is excess verbage, or extra words. If it's not needed, it should be taken out.
Metaphorically speaking, the english language is better written as an instruction manual than a poem about flowers.
As for your story, it's still great, just work on the technical errors. That's what you wanted me to do right?
By the way, you guys write better than some of the peers in my english klass. I tear their papers up every time I read them because they include so many technical errors, putting "That" and "This" (the words) in sentences where "The" or nothing would work better.