028 - Christmas Who?

Patchy's segment

In Encino California, the French Narrator introduces the president of the SpongeBob SquarePants fan club, Patchy the Pirate, a live-action character who is currently preparing for Christmas, and his "pet," Potty the Parrot, a crudely made puppet with very obvious strings. Patchy shows two pictures of SpongeBob & Patrick, which fades to first: SpongeBob's Christmas setup and second: Patrick's rock with a tree ornament on it. Patchy receives a fan letter from a person whose name and address is withheld, asking if SpongeBob likes Christmas as much as he does. Patchy explains that they didn't always celebrate Christmas in Bikini Bottom, and decides to show how they were introduced to it, beginning the episode proper.

SpongeBob's segment

At Sandy's Treedome, Sandy is putting up Christmas lights. SpongeBob, who is in his karate gear and preparing to attack her, mistakes it for a fire, and then rushes inside, throwing water onto it. Sandy asks him what he was doing, and SpongeBob replies he believed there was a fire. Sandy is shocked that SpongeBob has never heard of Christmas, and tells him all about it.

Later, at the Krusty Krab, SpongeBob tells Patrick, Squidward & Mr. Krabs about Christmas. Everyone in Bikini Bottom, except Squidward, believes him, and they all, except Squidward, put their Christmas wishes into bottles, which are then shot up to the surface so Santa can read it. In the days leading up to Christmas, the people of Bikini Bottom heartily celebrate, and on Christmas Eve, stand in front of the large decorated coral tree and sing, eagerly awaiting the arrival of Santa. Meanwhile, Squidward, refusing to believe in Christmas, is wanting no part of it. The people continue to sing until morning, when Santa has failed to arrive (which was much to SpongeBob's dismay).

Everyone leaves and SpongeBob becomes very depressed. Squidward appears, laughing and scoffing at his humiliation, and takes a photo of the heartbroken SpongeBob. As he sulks away, he gives Squidward a present. Squidward, now feeling sorry for SpongeBob, opens it, and finds a handmade driftwood clarinet. He now realizes that he is a "big jerk," dresses up as Santa much to the delight of SpongeBob. SpongeBob thanks "Santa" for bringing Christmas to Bikini Bottom, and Squidward tells him that he did. SpongeBob passes out from joy, and Gary carries him home.

Squidward prepares to take the costume off, but is confronted by a little girl, asking him for a present. SpongeBob suddenly appears beside her, assuring her that he will. Out of desperation, Squidward gives the child a wrench from his house. He then sees a crowd of people, who want their gifts as well, and ends up giving away everything he owns. Afterwards, Squidward finds a message from Santa on his doorstep, thanking him for his help and telling him that he's been a "good boy." He then sees the real Santa Claus (Live action character) riding away in his sleigh. The dumbfounded Squidward says "Yep. I'm insane." and goes back inside, playing his new clarinet.

After the SpongeBob episode ends, Patchy's house is seen again. Potty gives Patchy a little present. Patchy steps under a mistletoe, hoping to be kissed by a woman, only for Potty to start chasing after him with the intention of kissing him. Seeing that Patchy is busy at the moment, the narrator said "Goodnight, and Happy Holidays." for Patchy.