Avatar: The Last Airbender: Script/Screenplay for an Avatar Movie that is CG Based (Writing test on pg 13)

gravity1690
[261]Dec 27, 2006
member since: 12/23/06
level: 1
rank: Weatherman
posts: 22
i didn't write it play format either...... i was doing the battle scene... its been forever since ive done play format... =\ gotta rewrite it and pretty much change everything now... well heres my story non play format ("Don't break ye rank! Fight for your honor!.. If not, Fight for mine!" "Today will be the day it will be decided if you are a man or a coward." Commander Yaku was perplexed, Why in hell are they attacking us! How do they have the hearts to kill so many children! Commander Yaku stared with a feeling of abhorance at a little boy smothered with his own blood, sobbing because his leg was burned off. Commander Yaku couldn't shake the feeling of disdain from his stomach because of those moans ringing in his thoughts. The boys sobs slowly turned into moans.. and finally nothing. He was dead. War, the blood swollen god, had savagely killed yet another. "Man the catapults! Show the Fire Nation what airbenders can do!"The army of the Fire nation kept coming there were too many! This is mad! We can't win this! The ruthless soilders released a volley of fireballs that devastated the ranks crackling with an evil joy. Men started to panic and break rank, leaving their brothers to die in flames. Before he knew it, he was among those few men, fleeing for their lives as their fellow people, their own children were fighting when they were not. None of that mattered, survival was the only thing that mattered nothing else, not family, not culture, and not home. He stared up at the heavens and noticed that the sky was red with the blood of the innocent. He looked back and saw that defeat was inevitable.. the fire benders have won.) kinda focused on non bending need to fix that.... and pretty much change everything =( OK i now have the play script version.... i dont know if it is the best so if anybody has any advice for me on how to change it feel free..... id love it..... if it makes the top 5 ill try to rewrite it to make it better or if either version does.. well here it is
(Scene Start:

(At first it shows a massive force of fire nations with lots of artillery etc. climbing up the mountain then goes to scattered force of airbenders with obviously a pathetic fighting force)

Airbender Scout: "The Fire Nation are coming. The Fire Nation are com..com..coming sir!" (Saying this as running and trips over a wheelbarrow full of weapons knocking everything over.)

(Commander Yaku puts hand on face and sighs)

Commander Yaku: (to himself) "We're doomed..."

(Commander Yaku keeps worrying about his son.)

Commander Yaku: "Don't break ye rank! Fight for your honor!.. If not, Fight for mine!" "Today will be the day it will be decided if you are a man or a coward."

(Screen shows airbenders practicing airbending pitifully with not enough power to do any real harm.)

(Fire Nation start to charge screaming as loud as they can making the untrained airbenders do the same. When airbenders get close enough the fire benders suddenly stop and release a volley of fire. Air Benders try to counter it with airbending, but it does no good and already a lot of men have died.)

(Commander Yaku sees an injured man crawling away from the front line noticing that his foot was burned off)

Commander Yaku (to himself): "Theres no way.. how.. how.. how can they be so powerful..?"

Commander Yaku: "Have the Air Force attack their center! Thats where the center of command must be!"

(50 Airbenders on (kite things like aang had??? dont know wat that rlly is.... sorry) fly above the fire nation swooping back and forth over the center of the firebending army getting ready to release a volley of airbending get shot down by fire nation tanks.)

Commander Yaku (thinking): "This is mad! What am i doing here! We can't win this!"

(Screen shows a few airbenders breaking rank and fleeing. Screen moves and shows a lieutanant grabbing a fleeing man as he is running by and yanks him to the ground and beats him. Suddenly shows Commander Yaku leaping off his horse and running with the fleeing men. Commander Yaku looks up at the sky and sees a picture of his son in the clouds.)

Commander Yaku (to himself): "He'd have to be stupid not to run.... thi.. this is natures will! Survival of the fittest! Everyone back there are fools!"

(Commander Yaku trips and sees a dead mans face thinking its his son and screams, but realizes that it is just a soldier.. Commander Yaku gets up and runs away from the battle still thinking about his son repeatedly looking back.)

(Commander Yaku keeps running while staring at the ground and hears men screaming and lots of fire crackling and runs into the woods scrambling into branches. Sun starts to rise over the battlefield and you see a lot of airbenders dead.(

Scene Ends)
Edited on 12/29/2006 1:51pm
Edited 5 total times.
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TheRougeMonk16
[262]Dec 27, 2006
member since: 12/26/06
level: 8
rank: Super-Friend
posts: 187
So what exactly are we keeping right now, what are the main points
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andreitayehp

[263]Dec 27, 2006

member since: 08/31/06
level: 6
rank: Small Wonder
posts: 554

Taang_Forever wrote:

Oh, well then, I look like a fool again. So you're saying since we can't do it live action... okay, so if we WERE doing it live action, Dakota would have been Toph, right? But since it's not gonna be live action, when the animation is done, instead of making the characters look more like they do on the show, we should make them look like the actors instead? So that the CG looks like Dakota dressed as Toph?

That... kinda, I meant a mixture between the Toph we see on Nick and Dakota Fannig, with other clothes, but with Toph's style, you know, those colors wouldn't be pretty cool for a live Action, not to mention those rabbit paw thing she has on the hair...

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andreitayehp
[264]Dec 27, 2006
member since: 08/31/06
level: 6
rank: Small Wonder
posts: 554
TheRougeMonk16 wrote:

So what exactly are we keeping right now, what are the main points

I'll try to be nice, but... if you really want to be helpfull, don't be lazzy and read the thread since the beggining, or at leat the first post... Or Tico's blog... Wait you alredy did it? then write something... a sort of fan fic based in Tico's, then he'll choose the writers, yeah! he'll be the director
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Taang_Forever

[265]Dec 27, 2006

member since: 08/04/06
level: 9
rank: Door Number 2
posts: 7,063

andreitayehp wrote:

TheRougeMonk16 wrote:

So what exactly are we keeping right now, what are the main points

I'll try to be nice, but... if you really want to be helpfull, don't be lazzy and read the thread since the beggining, or at leat the first post... Or Tico's blog... Wait you alredy did it? then write something... a sort of fan fic based in Tico's, then he'll choose the writers, yeah! he'll be the director

Rougethemonk, look back on the previous page, or previous two, (depending on your settings) Tico posted what we're basically using as the movie plot. He said to write a scene out based on a part of any of that, then post it here and he'll read them in the morning to check out your writing skills. Like what i'm typing right now is the scenes where Aang is taken to the temple to choose from all the toys, when I'm done I'll post it and wait for Tico to see it in the morning and decide if I'll be a writer or not. That's basically what's happening right now. Hope that helps.

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electricblue18
[266]Dec 27, 2006
member since: 09/10/06
level: 7
rank: Talk Show Host
posts: 5,394
I think I'll start writing mine... but play format will seem weird to me. I'll do me best!
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Taang_Forever
[267]Dec 27, 2006
member since: 08/04/06
level: 9
rank: Door Number 2
posts: 7,063
I did mine in story format, but If required, I will turn it into play format. Here it is, and the paragraph at the top is what I wrote about.
---------------------------------------------------------------

By the age of 2 Aang shows a natural ability to airbend. His parents were
surprised by this and took him to the Southern Air Temple. There they
spoke with Gyatso and the other monks. (Insert a ton of dialogue.) They were amazed by his natural ability and had a hunch about Aang being the
new Avatar. The monks took the young airbender into a room filled with
toys. Once there Aang explored the many toys and set them aside until he
came across four different toys. They were the relics of the
avatar. Satisfied with their conclusion the monks agreed to raise Aang
under the condition that they would not tell Aang he was the Avatar until his
16th birthday when he would be able to make the decision of staying with them
or moving on.
---------------------------------------------------------------
(This starts off a little weird because it implies something has already happened before it, but this is the dialogue part between Aang's parents and the monks)

Remi and Tong were then led into a meditating room within the temple. There, monk Gyatso and others awaited their arrival, eager about the boy coming. They could not be sure yet, but they wondered if this new boy might possibly be the next avatar. From the stories Remi and Tong had chosen to share about their son's airbending abilities, they were quite curious to observe for themselves.

As they were led through the long hall, Remi looked down at her son walking between her and his father. The young boy looked up at her mother with large happy eyes and a smile. The little boy also looked over to his father, who also looked down at him with happyness. Today, the fate of this young boy would be decided, and whatever his fate was, his two parents could not be more proud. There was no turning back now.

They arrived at the end of the hall, where two large double doors stood, leading into the meditating room on the other side. The monk leading them quickly used his airbending abilities to open the lock sealing the doors. Seals retracted and spirals spun, unlocking it. The two doors slowly began to open and the room inside was revealed. A row of 15 monks sat cross-legged on the far end. In the middle of them sat a familiar face to the two parents. They aproached the monks with their son following close behind, whom was looking around at the size of the room. When the two parents were within speaking distance of the monks, they took a moment to show their respect with a quick bow. The monks did a small bow as well from their sitting position.

"Thank you for coming," spoke the middle monk. "Please, sit down." The two parents sat on the floor and crossed their legs, followed by their son who saw their example.

"Thank you for having us, Master Gyatso," said the boy's father. "I hope that this meeting has not been much trouble for you to have."

"Not at all. When we heard your news we were immediately interested, and we would have called this meeting whether you knew your son was the avatar, or simply a very promising young airbender. From the stories that we have heard from you about your son, he certainly seems to be quite special. For him to be able to bend air already at such a young age, it is truly a remarkable feat. Perhaps the remarkable feat."

"That is what we wondered on the night of his birth ourselves," informed Remi. "Over the two years of our son's life he has often displayed his abilities. From jumping to the top of the temple, to drying himself after a bath... He's a very remarkable young boy." Remi looked at her son with pride, not hearing the bit of chatter between the monks who were quite interested.

"We would like to see him display his abilities," spoke Gyatso. The two parents looked up in some surprise, though they had expected this request. They smiled and looked down at their son who was rocking back and forth.

"Aang, do you want to slide?" Tong softly asked his son who immediately smiled at the suggestion and nodded quickly. The Monks looked at each other in confusion and set their eyes on the small two year old. The little boy walked out closer to the monks so that he was between them and his parents. He sat down on the ground again and quickly a strong air current formed under him that pushed him forward at a remarkable speed. The monks raised their arms fearing a collision but the boy quickly turned away from them and began to slide across the entire room using his airbending, squealing with delight the entire way. The monks gasped in fear when it looked like the young boy might crash against the wall of the circular room, but to their surprise the little boy was blown high upward by a strong current instead. Along the walls the young boy continued to slide over the air current pushing him forward. The monks were more than amazed by this display. The boy could not only bend, but he had incredible control over everything he did. The monks fell into another small chatter as the little boy came plummeting down from the top of the room, only to be saved by a mini tornado of his own creation at the last possible second. He laughed with content at all the fun he was having. Fun! This impressed the monks further. The boy was not even trying...

"That's something we've chosen to call his 'air slider'," said the young boy's father. "And that's only a fraction of what he does all the time, I assure you."

"Hmm... his abilities have proven to be more than even we expected," replied Monk Gyatso. "He is certainly a very gifted young child." All 15 monks stood. "There is one thing that we would like him to do for us, if you are willing to let him."

"Of course, Master Gyatso, what is it?" asked Tong curiously.

"Follow us and you shall see."

The 15 monks then exited the meditating room, followed by the curious parents and their playful child. The monks led the three of them back through the long hallway they had entered through, and out across a large courtyard outside of the meditating area where several other young airbenders trained. The young boy looked at them all in curiosity as to what they were doing and why there were so many of them. He quickly caught up with his parents when he saw that he had been falling behind, and reached them at the exact time that they achieved their destination. In front were two double doors, similar to the ones leading into the meditating room. Monk Gyatso took it upon himself to open this door with his airbending, calling the attention of the many other airbenders around, and commencing several whispers throughout the quickly formed crowd.

"Wow, you think they found him already?" came one conversation. "If they're going into that room it must be pretty big," commented another voice. The much younger airbenders, unknowing to the test the room inside represented, simply said things like, "I wonder what he's gonna get?" "Oh, he's so lucky!"

The monks, the boy and his parents entered the open doors which closed behind them. This was a shorter hallway than before, and what it led to was one of the happiest moments of the young airbender's life. At the end of the hallway, a large circular room was filled with an unimaginably large amount of toys. The young airbender squaked with delight, and jumped right into the knee-deep pool of toys.

"Wait! Aang!" called his parents a second too late.

"It's okay. Let him," spoke Gyatso. "This is the test we reffered to earlier."

The two parents looked at each other in confusion. "Uh, toys are the test?" asked Tong.

"You could say that."

"Could you explain this to us, if you don't mind, Master Gyatso?" asked Remi.

"With pleasure. You see, among these many hundreds of toys, lie four special ones. Whether young Aang chooses these four toys out of all the rest, or does not, it will be able to tell us if he is indeed the avatar, or simply a very talented airbender."

"I'm afraid we don't understand..." Remi said. "Why are the four toys special?"

"A very good question. You see, the four special toys hidden here somewhere, are special because they are the only ones here that have once belonged to the Avatar in the past..." explained Gyatso as he watched young Aang swimming across all the toys. He saw that he had already chosen one of the special four. "There..." he pointed out to the others. "He has already recognized the one he holds... He finds it familiar." Remi and Tong looked at each other in amazement, while the other monks chatted between themselves again. "If young Aang does turn out to be the Avatar, I hope that you will be prepared to relinquish him."

"Yes," replied Tong. "We have discussed it before, and have decided to have him live here, so that he may receive training. It won't be easy to let him go... but we knew that this day might one day come... and it seems that day, may be this one..." Monk Gyatso raised an eyebrow as he saw young Aang grab yet another of the four special toys.

"There is something else we must tell you," began Monk Gyatso. "Though young Aang may well turn out to be the avatar's newest re-incarnation, he shall not be told so until he reaches the mature age of 16."

"Why sixteen?" asked Tong.

"Because at that age, young Aang will be able to make his choice. Whether he wishes to stay with us and continue his training in mastering the elements as he has done a thousand times before-- or whether he wishes to not be part of it, and be allowed to live life in his own way. But that is not all. At the age of 16 we trust that he will fully understand his duties as the Avatar, and make a wiser choice of the path he wishes to follow." The young airbender called attention yet again, as he chose the third of the four toys, and before long the fourth. Monk Gyatso looked with a smiling face at the two parents. "Congratulations. Young Aang-- is the next Avatar."
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andreitayehp
[268]Dec 27, 2006
member since: 08/31/06
level: 6
rank: Small Wonder
posts: 554
Shouldn't all of we write the same part and send them to his mail??? The same part because that's how we'll really be able of choose the best, and to his mail, because:
1?? Our ideas could been taken as recurses for others.
2?? Somebody else apart of us could take our ideas
Well, right now it's one o clock here... so, I'll work on it on my bed, and I'll post it here about 10 o clock in the morning... (my time)?? (you'll all gonna be sleeping by that time... lol, but I'll woke up early to see if you decided something else, or if you'll follow my advises in here...
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BlindBandit
[269]Dec 27, 2006
member since: 08/02/06
level: 6
rank: Small Wonder
posts: 417
Again, let's not focus on the animation. We need to plot, write, edit, sketch, storyboard,??then edit/make changes if we need to, then focus on animating it. Let's not get ahead of ourselves B:
Well, from the treetops, this is BlindBandit headin' out....and some of you may be thanking the Spirits for that XD
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electricblue18
[270]Dec 27, 2006
member since: 09/10/06
level: 7
rank: Talk Show Host
posts: 5,394
It is kind of hard to write in play format. A lot of it is dialogue, and it doesn't give as many details. I think I'll do one in play format, and one in normal story format.
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electricblue18
[271]Dec 27, 2006
member since: 09/10/06
level: 7
rank: Talk Show Host
posts: 5,394
I'm almost done. Hehe, I kinda went on to 4 pages...

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electricblue18
[272]Dec 27, 2006
member since: 09/10/06
level: 7
rank: Talk Show Host
posts: 5,394
hehe... It's kinda long, but I think it's ok for now. I might right a story scene later. I'm better at those.
This was the scene I used:
Meanwhile the evil monk goes to
the Sozin and tells him what

is happening. Sozin sees the opportunity

for them to strike at the southern temple and other areas of the world just as

a comet is passing by he finds that it increases the power of fire

benders. Many were caught off guard as

the fire nation army attacked them. A

huge fight takes place as the young monks die off easily.

Fire Nation Palace,
War Chamber, Day 1, Evening

*The Evil Monk has arrived at the Palace in secrecy, and
they are talking about the plans for the invasion of the air temples.*

Evil Monk: (Whispers) The day has come, Fire Lord Sozin. The
Air Temples will fall in unison. There is nothing they can do to protect
themselves from you, great Fire Lord.

Sozin: (Intimidating voice) You speak as a great admiral,
yet you seem to have the courage of a rabbit when it is about to be eaten. The
rabbit hides in fear, while the great predator rules the lands.

*Evil Monk bows to Sozin*

Evil Monk: (Cowardly) B-b-b-but sir, I AM a great admiral. I
am the fiercest airbender in all of the lands! I will stand beside your armies
as you wipe out the rest of my pathetic people!

Sozin: That is where you are wrong. Guards, take this
deceiving traitor where he belongs. In the dungeon!

*Evil Monk gives Sozin a baffled look*

Evil Monk: (Confused) Wh-wh-what!?!? I just gave you the
most valuable information of the Air Nomads that I know, and you BETRAY ME!?

Sozin: You have given us valuable information, and we thank
you for that, but we know how you lied to your people. We know that you will
betray our people, as you did your own.

*The Evil Monk is dragged off into the dark, vague dungeons
as he screams in fear*

Fire Nation Palace,
War Chamber, Day 2, Morning

*Sozin is giving a speech to his admirals, who wait in silence
as they listen. The admirals will be the first to go off into battle for the
first fight in the war.*

Sozin: You, you are the admirals that will take out the Air
Nomads. YOU are the great conquerors that will bring down the Air Nomads. ALL
OF YOU will achieve the ranks as great men who fought against the Air Nomads.
Today, we will begin our journey to the Air Temples, where we will fight the
first battles of the great war, and we will be VICTORIOUS!

*Sozin sits back down, and bows his head in silence*

Admiral Zhoka: You are right, Fire Lord Sozin. This is the
year that we will invade the temples, and destroy the Air Nomads once and for
all.

Sozin: The first temple to fall will be where the traitor
came from, and where the avatar is??? the Southern Air Temple. The Southern Air
Temple has stood for many years. This is the strongest temple, so it will be
best to catch them off guard while we have the chance. Also, each of our
soldiers will have the strength of ten firebenders. (Shouts) We are INVINCIBLE!

*Admirals give Sozin a baffled look*

Admiral Zhoka: Wh-what do you mean!? We are not THAT strong.
We do not have enough chi enhancing tea to give to all of our armies!

Sozin: (Whispers) But I have made a discovery??? a discovery
that will make us unbeatable to the rest of the world! All of you will see
during the last Air Nomad battle. It will finish off the Air Nomads??? but for
now, we must invade the Southern Air Temple, the strongest and most fortified
temple of them all! There, at that first battle, WE WILL SHOW THE WORLD HOW
MUCH DESTRUCTION THE FIRE NATION CAN DO!

*Admirals salute Sozin, and they all walk out of the chamber
in silence, knowing that they will be leaving that night for the Southern Air
Temple*

*After journeying across the ocean to the Southern Air
Temple, they reach the base of the Potola Mountain Range. They are in a large
green field with wild flowers all around. Over 5,000 soldiers waited in silence
for the war horn to sound, which signaled the invasion.*

Invasion of the Southern Air Temple,
Day 1

*Camera zooms in on the Fire Nation army with all of the men
training for the invasion. Admiral Zhoka walks around the camp, watching the
training, and perfecting the moves of the new recruits.*

Admiral Zhoka: No, no, you have it all wrong young private!
It is all in the breath. It does not matter how hard you punch, it is all in
the breath. You take in the oxygen and you???

*Messenger runs up to Admiral Zhoka, panting*

Messenger: (Panting) Admiral Zhoka, Admiral Zhoka!

Zhoka: What, what is it lad!?!?

Messenger: (Worried) It???s the Air Nomads, sir! They spotted
two young privates in the mountains and they took them into the temple!
Zhoka: (Fierce) ROUND UP THE LIGHTNING TEAM! THEY MUST BE
THE FRONT OF OUR BATTLE!

*Zhoka takes out the war horn, and mumbles to himself about
the greatest battle ever fought. He looks up brutally, and blows the horn. The
Fire Nation army gathers behind him, with the Lightning Team up front, ready to
take out any wall that stands in their path.*

*Zhoka took out the war horn once again, and blew it yet
again. Generals of the smaller battalions of the army blew on their bison
whistles. From the nearest mountain, hundreds of bison came swarming in, but it
was not what they expected. These bison were carrying airbenders, and in the
front of them all, was Monk Gyatso.

Monk Gyatso: (Shouting) You will NOT take our home away from
us! We questioned the soldiers, and knew you were here! We may not have all of
our airbenders, but you will still have to take our land by force! You will
face the airbender???s wrath!

Zhoka: Quick! Get to the trebuchets! It does not matter if
the bison are killed; we will find a way up into the Air Temple!
Lightning Team, STRIKE WITH ME!

*Zhoka and the team of lightningbenders kneeled down on one
knee. They all took deep breaths, and put all of the fury that had been inside
them for so long into the lightning.*

*Thirty of the largest strikes of lightning ever created
headed straight for Monk Gyatso, but Monk Gyatso knew what to do. He took out
his glider, and he flew straight up towards the aqua blue sky. He headed down,
and created a large vortex as he dived. The vortex took in all of the
lightning, and shot it back out towards the Fire Nation Army. The benders
quickly deflected the lightning, and they were right back to attacking.*

*Gyatso was pulling out of his dive, when suddenly, one bolt
of lightning from Zhoka struck Gyatso in the leg. Gyatso crashed into the
ground, and airbenders surrounded him, trying to protect him from harm. They
begged for mercy. They didn???t want the airbender killed. They pleaded, until
finally a bison came and carried Gyatso off into the mountains.*

Zhoka: (shouts) General Voy, get one of those bison and take
some soldiers to follow that bison!

Voy: Right away sir!

*General Voy and the rest of his battalion got on top of
some Air Bison, and they headed off after Gyatso. Several airbenders tried to
get the bison to come down, but they already knew that this battle was lost.*

*The airbenders began retreating into the mountains to find
shelter and refuge, but the firebenders kept on coming. There were just too
many??? the airbenders could not hold them back.*

*Many of the airbenders died in the battlefield, but some
retreated to the Southern Air Temple. The firebenders took the bison that were
left behind, and they followed Voy into the mountains. Hundreds of firebenders
that got to the temple surrounded it. Children hid in the deepest parts of the
temple, where they could not be found by the firebenders.*

*Within minutes, the firebenders brutally killed the rest of
the airbending monks, and they searched for Monk Gyatso. When they found him,
they saw him lying on the ground, panting. Gyatso called upon the spirits to
help him, but he did not wait for a response. He stood up on his burnt leg, and
he reached for his staff, he began airbending like no other has seen before. He
created huge tornadoes that shook the ground. He must have wiped out hundreds
of firebenders, but more kept on coming. He could not go on much longer. Zhoka
walked up to the worn out Gyatso.*

Zhoka: (Whispers) You have fought well, but your people are
a dying race. Understand this before you die. Fire is THE superior element.
This is the first battle of many. The Fire Nation will destroy the Air Nomads,
the Earth Kingdom, and the Water Tribes. We will
rule the world.

Gyatso: (Whispers while panting) You may take the world for
your own one day, but you must know that there is always going to be the idea
of a rebellion. Not all of the people will follow your command. My people may
become extinct, but the Avatar will return. The Avatar will restore peace to
this world. It may be in one year or one hundred, but the world will one day
live in harmony once again. Fire is NOT the superior element. There is no
superior element, for we are all equal. I shall die fighting for my nation.

*One small tear trickled down the side of Gyatso???s face.*

*With that, Zhoka charged up the lightning in his body, and
with a final strike, killed Gyatso.*

*Zhoka stood on the mountain, overlooking the field
triumphantly. He looked around and he yelled to the other men.*

Zhoka: This day, we have taken the Southern Air Temple! They
could not hold back the superior element! We will destroy the strongholds of
the Air Nomads, Earth Kingdom, and Water
Tribes! We will be undefeatable!

*The rest of the men shouted in conquest.*

*Among the green battlefield, however, there was no longer
peace. Blood of children and monks was strewn across the field. It was no
longer green, but blood red. Hundreds of bodies were scattered across the
field, both Air Nomad and Fire Nation.*

*Just then, Zhoka heard the words of his father. ???Remember
son, the world is not separated into four nations, it is already one. We are
all one people, separated by our different styles of life. We keep each other
in balance. The nations must stick together and keep balance so we can live in
harmony.???*

*Balance, Zhoka
thought, balance keeps us alive. Without balance, the world will go into
corruption and chaos.*

??*A tear stroked his face. Zhoka had realized his brutal
actions, and he fled for a bison. The firebenders began shouting after him,
asking where he was going, but those firebenders never saw the admiral again???*
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electricblue18
[273]Dec 27, 2006
member since: 09/10/06
level: 7
rank: Talk Show Host
posts: 5,394
Gah! I hate when it does this! It's being mean to me, but I don't think I can fix the layout. It just does it on its own!
Hope you like it! I think I'll write the story format tomorrow...
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tico1125

[274]Dec 28, 2006

member since: 10/24/06
level: 6
rank: Small Wonder
posts: 1,401

Strix_Moonwing wrote:

Okay here's my post. It's my version of the opening scene...

Opening Scene: (scene opens with the Avatar theme playing while the camera is following a hawk over the ocean, which is reddish because of the sunset. The hawk flies upward and we see Crescent Island. The hawk flies lower as it flies towards the tall tower of the Fire Temple. The hawk flies towards an open window, but flaps away in surprise as a bright light is flashed)

Scene 1: (As the light flashes, the camera zooms inside the room while a man lies dieing in a small cot. A Fire sage sits in a chair and looks over the man. The man coughs and the Fire Sage leans over, worried.)

Fire Sage: (in worried whisper) Avatar Roku! (turns to a feeble man behind him) What are you doing standing around? Can???t you see Avatar Roku need assistances!? Make yourself useful!

Avatar Roku: (raises hand weakly) No???I need nothing.

Fire Sage: But sir, your condition is getting worse. The Water Tribes are sending their best healers. In a day or two they shall???.

Avatar Roku: Healers can do nothing. Even if they could I would not let them???(pauses) The spirit of Kyoshi has spoken to me. The flames I have lit for so many years as Avatar have finally died. It is time for me to join the avatars before me so I can light the fire once again???..

Fire Sage: (grabs Avatar Roku???s hand) No???.the world needs the avatar! More than ever! Please sir???.

Avatar Roku: (shudders silently) The world shall never be without an Avatar???.never???.(eyes close for last time as the candles by his bed die out.)

(The Fire Sage bows his head as more Fire keepers rush into the room. We can barely hear them whispering to eachother as the camera zooms out of the room and follows the flight of the hawk as it glides across the red skies.)

Scene 2: (The camera glides across the ocean, which is now dark with nighttime. It keeps going until it reaches the cliffs and angles upwards at a fast pace. It keeps going upward until it is above the mountain peaks and we see an Air nation temple, windows glowing with the light from inside. We zoom in until we are inside a dimly lit room with a dark haired woman, lying on her back on some blankets, deeply in labor. A bald young man is on his knees besides her, holding her hand while some female monks are helping her.)

Man: (brushing a lock of hair from woman???s face) Don???t worry; it???ll be over soon, Remi.

Remi: (face softens as she looks at man) Thank you, Tong. (her faces twists in face and she squeezes tightly on Tong???s hand as she growls in pain)

Tong: (face is also twisted in pain as Remi continues to squeeze his hand, tighter.) I can???t feel my hand???..

Female monk: (baths Remi???s forehead with wet cloth) The little one is coming, dear.

Tong: (winces as Remi squeezes hand harder) Uh, can you make it come a little faster? (gets hit on head with staff)

Female monk: You don???t rush babies!

Remi: (screams in pain. Both Tong and female monk look at her in surprise) Coming???.he???s coming!

Female monk: (growls at a female monk apprentice) Didn???t you hear her? The baby is coming! Get some towels and water, now Kayo!

Kayo: (bows head, nervously) Yes, ma! (rushes out room)

Scene 3: (We watch as Kayo, the little female monk apprentice, rush down the temple stair, running past many other female monks along the way. She rushes inside a room and disappears. A second later, she reappears with a armful of blankets and a bowl of water. She carefully walks back towards the staircase and passes a large wooden door. She hears voices coming from it and stops.)

Voice one: Avatar Roku is dead???

(Kayo presses ear towards door)

Voice two: No, it can???t be true.

Voice one: But, it is. The Fire Sage sent a message hawk an hour ago???.died at sunset.

Voice two: Then who is next?

Voice one: What do you mean?

Voice two: I mean, who is the next Avatar? The world is at war. We can not be without an Avatar.

Voice one: Nobody knows. All we know is that the child shall be an air bender.

Voice two: How do you know that?

Voice one: It has always been like that! It is part of the cycle. First is air, then is water, then is earth, then fire???.and back to air. Avatar Roku was the flame that lit the way???now it is the new Avatar???s turn to blow us in the right direction.

(Kayo???s eyes widen in shock and she lets out a small gasp at hearing that the next Avatar is an airbender.)

Voice two: Did you hear something?

(Kayo covers her mouth and rushes back upstairs. As she nears the room where Tong and Remi are, she hears a loud wailing. She presses her hand against the door and slowly peeks in. Through the crack in the door, she see Remi, sitting up in her bed of blankets with a small bundle in her arms. Tong has his arm folded around her looking proud while the female monk just sits back and smiles. The monk spies Kayo and gestures her in)

Female monk: Come in child???.and see a most wonderful miracle.

(Kayo sits on the floor, next to Remi and watches as Remi reveals a small baby boy in her arms. The baby is asleep peacefully as Kayo gazes at it in wonder.)

Kayo: What is the baby???s name?

Tong: Tong junior, of course! (gets smacked again by female monk)

Female monk: (scoffs) Not on your life, mister!

Remi: (chuckles softly) I shall name him Aang???.after his grandfather, the greatest airbender ever known.

Tong; (grumbles) I still think???..(stops as Female monk glares at him) Aang???Aang is good!

Remi: (holds the baby close) Aang???.my little Aang.

Tong: (hugs his wife and son close) Our little airbender???..

Kayo: (remembers what she heard earlier) ???The next Avatar shall be an airbender???shall blow us in the right direction.??? (whispers softly) Aang???the next Avatar.

Sorry if I made any mistakes...post more later!

For the few mistakes that you made this was very good.?? It had humor in it along with dramatization.?? I am recommending this one for top five.?? You have set the bar.?? I now look forward to the rest of them.

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Strix_Moonwing

[275]Dec 28, 2006

member since: 10/08/06
level: 8
rank: Super-Friend
posts: 1,213

tico1125 wrote: