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My Fanfic-Dark aftermath Chapter 12 is up! 13+ Recommended

  • Avatar of confucioussayhi

    confucioussayhi

    [1]Dec 16, 2006
    • member since: 11/23/06
    • level: 15
    • rank: Ginsu Knife
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    Disclaimer-I do not own Avatar in any way shape or form but I own the ring.

    Life has a funny way of screwing over it's saviors. Just when it looks like the heroes will come out on top, the ground falls from under their feet and they decsend into hell. For the Avatar Aang, this is how it happened. The failed attempt to take the Fire Nation capital cost them all. Aang was now a spectacle for all patrons to see. Appa was in the cirus, Momo was a??Higher-up's exotic??pet. History doesn't yet show the lives of Katara, Sokka, and Toph. Katara and Sokka were rumored to have escaped at the last minute. Toph's whereabouts were unknown.

    8 Years after the war-

    "Damn." the girl thought "He's tougher than Skan said he was. Ahh!" She dodged a particularly nasty looking, blood-stained flail. She jumped on the man's back slashing his hand with the puny dagger that she was allowed. The brute howled in pain and dropped his weapon then??picked her up by the throat. She was being held??in the air when she bit the man's hand. For the second time he howled and dropped his victim. His eyes caught sight of his flail and he went for it.

    As he was awaiting the verdict, the crowd cheered the girl's death. "What kind of people do this?" She asked herself mentally. The man with a flaming crown of gold in the center throne turned his thumb down. The giant smiled, his flail would taste blood today. "NO!" The girl cried out. "I will not die here!" The giant recoiled in suprise. The girl knew she wasn't supposed to show her power yet but she didn't care. Maximum was better than this. She put her hand to the ground forcefully, then retracted it with a gripping motion. The brute didn't have time to react to the razor sharp earth spires that went through his chest.

    I know it is very short but its easier for me that way. If it sounds too violent please tell me and I will tone it down.

    /\ Was pulled straight from my profile so its easier for you lazy people to read.

    Edited on 12/22/2006 9:18am
    Edited 5 total times.
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  • Avatar of confucioussayhi

    confucioussayhi

    [2]Dec 16, 2006
    • member since: 11/23/06
    • level: 15
    • rank: Ginsu Knife
    • posts: 6,908
    Where'd all my friends go? Friends that should be reading my fanfic!
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  • Avatar of tokyoberry

    tokyoberry

    [3]Dec 16, 2006
    • member since: 05/08/06
    • level: 22
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    confucioussayhi wrote:
    Where'd all my friends go? Friends that should be reading my fanfic!

    i read it on your profile, but i'm too lazy to comment.
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  • Avatar of confucioussayhi

    confucioussayhi

    [4]Dec 16, 2006
    • member since: 11/23/06
    • level: 15
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    Ok. Thanks, was it worth another chapter?
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  • Avatar of PhoenixAngel37

    PhoenixAngel37

    [5]Dec 16, 2006
    • member since: 10/14/06
    • level: 22
    • rank: Freak and Geek
    • posts: 5,465
    confucioussayhi wrote:

    Disclaimer-I do not own Avatar in any way shape or form but I own the ring.

    Life has a funny way of screwing over it's saviors. Just when it looks like the heroes will come out on top, the ground falls from under their feet and they decsend into hell. For the Avatar Aang, this is how it happened. The failed attempt to take the Fire Nation capital cost them all. Aang was now a spectacle for all patrons to see. Appa was in the cirus, Momo was a??Higher-up's exotic??pet. History doesn't yet show the lives of Katara, Sokka, and Toph. Katara and Sokka were rumored to have escaped at the last minute. Toph's whereabouts were unknown.

    8 Years after the war-

    "Damn." the girl thought "He's tougher than Skan said he was. Ahh!" She dodged a particularly nasty looking, blood-stained flail. She jumped on the man's back slashing his hand with the puny dagger that she was allowed. The brute howled in pain and dropped his weapon then??picked her up by the throat. She was being held??in the air when she bit the man's hand. For the second time he howled and dropped his victim. His eyes caught sight of his flail and he went for it.

    As he was awaiting the verdict, the crowd cheered the girl's death. "What kind of people do this?" She asked herself mentally. The man with a flaming crown of gold in the center throne turned his thumb down. The giant smiled, his flail would taste blood today. "NO!" The girl cried out. "I will not die here!" The giant recoiled in suprise. The girl knew she wasn't supposed to show her power yet but she didn't care. Maximum was better than this. She put her hand to the ground forcefully, then retracted it with a gripping motion. The brute didn't have time to react to the razor sharp earth spires that went through his chest.

    I know it is very short but its easier for me that way. If it sounds too violent please tell me and I will tone it down.

    /\ Was pulled straight from my profile so its easier for you lazy people to read.



    great fanfic!!! ill comment on ur profile also and it deserves a 2nd fanfic
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  • Avatar of confucioussayhi

    confucioussayhi

    [6]Dec 16, 2006
    • member since: 11/23/06
    • level: 15
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    Gimme a bit and I'll do that too.
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  • Avatar of confucioussayhi

    confucioussayhi

    [7]Dec 16, 2006
    • member since: 11/23/06
    • level: 15
    • rank: Ginsu Knife
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    Chapter 2.

    Disclaimer-I don't own blah blah blah and yada yada yada.

    "What the hell was that?!?!"A man yelled at the girl. "I was gonna die!" She yelled back before she remembered her place in society. "WHAT!" The man screamed. "WHAT DID YOU SAY!" "I'm sorry!" She said. "I didn't mean it!". "Your mouth and and your actions in the ring leave me no choice-". "HA!" She thought, there was nothing more that he wanted to do than to put her in a little cramped cell. "-but to throw you in maximum!". "Bingo." She thought as she was roughly forced into the maximum security cell.

    Later that night-

    The girl couldn't sleep. "Why?" she thought. "Why am I here? Why me?" but she always asked these questions. A different thing was bothering her this time. Inhuman screams were coming from the door that led to, as the inmates called it, Death's funhouse. She had heard those very??screams before, mostly from that door. One reason why she hated maximum. But no, he made those sounds all the time. He was called animal-man by the gaurds, because of his tendencies to yell and growl more than he talked. Some of the other inmates would whisper about the credibility of him being human. But everyone knew he had a rough life and that he must've snapped a long time ago.

    Just then a creaking sound came from Death's funhouse, then a metallic ripping and shredding noise. Then she heard the sound that was one of the few things that scared her. His roar. A deep terrible roar, like a lion, but much worse. Another more awful sound came next. The shredding sound of a blade and the guard's death scream. Everyone covered their ears except the girl. She blindly??watched as a small red dot appeared on the solid metal door. The dot grew brighter and larger until a hand pushed through the door. A white hot knife, literally. She could feel it's power from where she was. His hand was covered in white flames concentrated so intense that??they could cut through steel. Which it began to.

    Halfway through cutting the door open, two guards came rushing into the hallway. While one prepared the shirshu spit darts, the other got out the keys. The thing inside apparently heard the guards and had backed up into the room so that when the door opened he would have a sraight shot, but thats wasn't the case. As soon as the first guard unlocked the door he was slammed into the wall from the force of the thing that burst through the doorway. The animal-man, rightly named, jumped on the second guard, grabbing a plate from the back of his armor and stabbed him in the throat with his burning??white hand. After he landed on top of the dead man he turned on the first guard and began to charge. He never reached his goal though. As four darts appeared in his chest, the only thing everyone knew he could be thinking about was clear. Revenge, and lots of it. He would be hell in the ring tomorrow and everyone prayed they wouldn't have to fight him.

    How about that? Huh? Like I said he kills a bunch of people, so if that disturbs you, let me know and I will tone it down. Ok? R and R please.

    / was ripped sraight from my profile and has been better edited.

    Edited on 12/16/2006 3:16pm
    Edited 2 total times.
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  • Avatar of confucioussayhi

    confucioussayhi

    [8]Dec 16, 2006
    • member since: 11/23/06
    • level: 15
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    Anyone?
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  • Avatar of confucioussayhi

    confucioussayhi

    [9]Dec 16, 2006
    • member since: 11/23/06
    • level: 15
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    confucioussayhi wrote:
    Anyone?
    WHY?!?! bump.
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  • Avatar of confucioussayhi

    confucioussayhi

    [10]Dec 16, 2006
    • member since: 11/23/06
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    A big bump.! Why do you all hate me?
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  • Avatar of tokyoberry

    tokyoberry

    [11]Dec 16, 2006
    • member since: 05/08/06
    • level: 22
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    confucioussayhi wrote:
    A big bump.! Why do you all hate me?

    i don't hate you... i like the chapter!
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  • Avatar of PrimoNation

    PrimoNation

    [12]Dec 16, 2006
    • member since: 10/12/06
    • level: 7
    • rank: Talk Show Host
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    I usually read these thing, nod my head, and say "hey, that was interesting".?? This one though has an adreline to it that was quite refreshing.... keep it up!
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  • Avatar of ardron

    ardron

    [13]Dec 16, 2006
    • member since: 08/05/06
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    Nice work on that. *Has nothing else to say and feels useless* *Wonders what the meaning of life is*
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  • Avatar of confucioussayhi

    confucioussayhi

    [14]Dec 17, 2006
    • member since: 11/23/06
    • level: 15
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    • posts: 6,908
    PrimoNation wrote:
    I usually read these thing, nod my head, and say "hey, that was interesting".?? This one though has an adreline to it that was quite refreshing.... keep it up!
    Thanks, it will be on my profile if you can't find this. I heavily edit this though so its good for the masses.
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  • Avatar of confucioussayhi

    confucioussayhi

    [15]Dec 17, 2006
    • member since: 11/23/06
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    tokyoberry wrote:
    confucioussayhi wrote:
    A big bump.! Why do you all hate me?

    i don't hate you... i like the chapter!
    Not you you've already read it.
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  • Avatar of confucioussayhi

    confucioussayhi

    [16]Dec 17, 2006
    • member since: 11/23/06
    • level: 15
    • rank: Ginsu Knife
    • posts: 6,908

    Disclaimer-No matter how much I say otherwise, my concience says that I don't own Avatar.

    The girl hated the ring. It was a vile, inhumane way for people to get their fix. A drug of sorts. But she loved the freedom. Being in the sweet open air. Seeing sunlight, all of it was justified. She wasn't a cold blooded killer, merely in the wrong place at the wrong time. The rules of the ring are clear-Kill or be killed. Verdicts were the decision made by the regional Lord or governer. The verdict was decided by the people, and it almost always meant death. The girl knew she was supposed to take the blow and die after the verdict, but she had more willpower than the other dogs that were her cellmates. The crowd wasn't happy. She would have to put on a good show.

    As she walked up the gangplank to her next fight she pondered who her opponent was. Number 11. She had heard that name before but forgot who it was. Every prisoner or slave in cellblock D had a number. She was number 6. "Skan said this guy is tough" she thought. "But then again Skan said the last guy was tough too. It's in the bag. No problem. I got this." She reassured herself. As the gates opened she squinted to adjust her eyes to the sunlight. As her eyes focused she saw a horrible apparition, staring at the ground,??restained with anchor chains. Asthetics were everything her bitter??sarcasm pointed out. She had never felt this afraid in her life. Skan wasn't lying, Number 11 was Animal-man, and he would be tough.

    Holy crap! She has to fight him?! Yeah. Sorry it is short but suspense keeps you blood thirsty heathens reading! R and R peeps.

    /\Torn mericilessly from my profile for your viewing pleasure.

    Edited on 12/17/2006 9:14am
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  • Avatar of go_ugly_people

    go_ugly_people

    [17]Dec 17, 2006
    • member since: 01/11/06
    • level: 8
    • rank: Super-Friend
    • posts: 657
    confucioussayhi wrote:

    Disclaimer-No matter how much I say otherwise, my concience says that I don't own Avatar.

    The girl hated the ring. It was a vile, inhumane way for people to get their fix. A drug of sorts. But she loved the freedom. Being in the sweet open air. Seeing sunlight, all of it was justified. She wasn't a cold blooded killer, merely in the wrong place at the wrong time. The rules of the ring are clear-Kill or be killed. Verdicts were the decision made by the regional Lord or governer. The verdict was decided by the people, and it almost always meant death. The girl knew she was supposed to take the blow and die after the verdict, but she had more willpower than the other dogs that were her cellmates. The crowd wasn't happy. She would have to put on a good show.

    As she walked up the gangplank to her next fight she pondered who her opponent was. Number 11. She had heard that name before but forgot who it was. Every prisoner or slave in cellblock D had a number. She was number 6. "Skan said this guy is tough" she thought. "But then again Skan said the last guy was tough too. It's in the bag. No problem. I got this." She reassured herself. As the gates opened she squinted to adjust her eyes to the sunlight. As her eyes focused she saw a horrible apparition, staring at the ground,??restained with anchor chains. Asthetics were everything her bitter??sarcasm pointed out. She had never felt this afraid in her life. Skan wasn't lying, Number 11 was Animal-man, and he would be tough.

    Holy crap! She has to fight him?! Yeah. Sorry it is short but suspense keeps you blood thirsty heathens reading! R and R peeps.

    /\Torn mericilessly from my profile for your viewing pleasure.



    i commented on them all
    and keep it up there good
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  • Avatar of confucioussayhi

    confucioussayhi

    [18]Dec 17, 2006
    • member since: 11/23/06
    • level: 15
    • rank: Ginsu Knife
    • posts: 6,908
    go_ugly_people wrote:
    confucioussayhi wrote:

    Disclaimer-No matter how much I say otherwise, my concience says that I don't own Avatar.

    The girl hated the ring. It was a vile, inhumane way for people to get their fix. A drug of sorts. But she loved the freedom. Being in the sweet open air. Seeing sunlight, all of it was justified. She wasn't a cold blooded killer, merely in the wrong place at the wrong time. The rules of the ring are clear-Kill or be killed. Verdicts were the decision made by the regional Lord or governer. The verdict was decided by the people, and it almost always meant death. The girl knew she was supposed to take the blow and die after the verdict, but she had more willpower than the other dogs that were her cellmates. The crowd wasn't happy. She would have to put on a good show.

    As she walked up the gangplank to her next fight she pondered who her opponent was. Number 11. She had heard that name before but forgot who it was. Every prisoner or slave in cellblock D had a number. She was number 6. "Skan said this guy is tough" she thought. "But then again Skan said the last guy was tough too. It's in the bag. No problem. I got this." She reassured herself. As the gates opened she squinted to adjust her eyes to the sunlight. As her eyes focused she saw a horrible apparition, staring at the ground,??restained with anchor chains. Asthetics were everything her bitter??sarcasm pointed out. She had never felt this afraid in her life. Skan wasn't lying, Number 11 was Animal-man, and he would be tough.

    Holy crap! She has to fight him?! Yeah. Sorry it is short but suspense keeps you blood thirsty heathens reading! R and R peeps.

    /\Torn mericilessly from my profile for your viewing pleasure.



    i commented on them all
    and keep it up there good
    Thanks. Tell everyone you know about them. NOW! JK.
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  • Avatar of confucioussayhi

    confucioussayhi

    [19]Dec 17, 2006
    • member since: 11/23/06
    • level: 15
    • rank: Ginsu Knife
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    Disclaimer-I don't own Jak and Daxt-Oops my concience has informed me that I don't own Avatar, wrong obsession.

    "No!" She screamed in her head. "This isn't happening! Anyone but him!". She said nothing aloud for fear of repercussions. She walked out to the center of the ring, showing off as she went. Crowd control, she thought. But it was hard to think when you knew you were going to fight that thing. As his chains were undone she put up the usual act. Crossing her arms in front of her chest, then thrusting them out, still crossed. "We, who are about to die, salute You." He did nothing more than stare at the same spot on the ground. "Warriors! Back 30 paces!" The speaker cried. The girl and the freak stepped back sixty feet from each other. "You may begin on the gong." the speaker said. The gong sounds and immediately the Animal-man charges hand already on fire.

    The girl sends a slab of earth slamming into Number 11's chest, Which hardly phases him. As he begins to run she sends column after column to knock him over but as soon as he hits the ground he rolls over and begins his charge anew. She stomps the ground sending a wave of rock knocking him into the air. As he is in midair he shoots a wave of??fire at her which she has barely enough time to dodge. As she shoots boulder after boulder he dogdes some but gets hit hard by others. He collects fire into to his hand and squeezes it, concentrating it into a small high explosive ball and slams his palm to the ground, creating a shockwave of fire.

    The girl launches herself high into the air to dodge it. When she lands he is already on the attack. Not a foot from her now he spin kicks a huge amount of fire that knocks her over. As soon as she hits the ground she creates an earth spire like the one she used on her last opponent, but this one has a quicker mind. He dogdes the deadly spire only a fraction of a second too slow.??He gets a nasty cut diagonally up the chest, but nothing fatal. "Damn!"She thinks. "Almost!". He makes a few motions with his hands then thrusts them out like he was gripping a bar. The firey handcuffs hold her??in place for the final blow. He looks up and the lord on his throne with hate and vindictiveness. The verdict is death once more for the girl. "They will get their fix." she thought. "Stop!" A voice cries from the stand.

    The Animal-man flinches at the sound of his voice. "Remember who you are!" The voice yells. The freak grabs his head shaking it back and forth as if there were some nasty bees in there he wanted out. "GET OUT OF MY HEAD!"It half roars, half yells. "You aren't this thing! Remember!" The young man yells as he is dragged off. "NO! AHHH!" It yells. It sees the crowd booing and jeering and becomes enraged, throwing massive fireballs at the unsuspecting patrons. "Ahhh!" A woman screams, as the crowd rushes out in panic. He begins to collect fire around himself, making a huge fireball when he is once again sedated by the darts. As soon as he is out the fire cuffs holding the girl to the ground dissapate and she gets up, wringing her wrists and actually feeling sorry for Number 11. "At least I'm not dead, yet." she thinks as she walks back to the gate. "Not yet."

    Now this was hard I've never wrote a fight sequence before. Tell me if it sucked. R and R please.

    /\Torn limb from limb out of my profile, just for you.

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  • Avatar of confucioussayhi

    confucioussayhi

    [20]Dec 17, 2006
    • member since: 11/23/06
    • level: 15
    • rank: Ginsu Knife
    • posts: 6,908
    READ!*Foams at mouth*
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