Avatar: The Last Airbender: Long Feng Sings "Be Our Guest"

FreakishChild
[1]Dec 1, 2006
member since: 06/19/05
level: 15
rank: Ginsu Knife
posts: 2,670
This is how I cope waiting for the season finale.
Over eleven hours to go.
Long Feng:
Welcome Avatar and company, it is with deepest pride and greatest pleasure that we welcome you to Ba Sing Se this night. And now we invite you to relax, take a seat as the Dai Li proudly presents - your doom!
Be our guests!
Be our guests!
Put our service to the test
Keeps your lips sealed, ladies
And we provide the rest
Why, we only live to fool you
Don't believe me? Ask the Joo Dees!
They can guide
They can lie
After all, Avatar, this is Ba Sing Se
And a corruption here is
Second to the Fire Nation!
Go on, explore our wonders
Take a glance and then you'll
Be our guests
Be our guests
Be our guests
Long Feng:
We'll imprison and brainwash with flair
You're alone
And you're scared
But the brainwashing chair
It all prepared!
Forget your worries and your
No one's gloomy and
While the Joo Dees are distractingWe tell fibs
I do euphemisms
With my fancy and vague vocabulary
Dai Li:
And it's all in perfect grammar
That you can bet
Long Feng:
Come on and never speak your mind again
Use your passport and be our guest
To be our guests
Long Feng:
If you're stressed
I suggest a trip to Lake Laogai
Long Feng and Dai Li:
Be our guests!
Be our guests!
Be our guests!
Long Feng:
Life is so unnerving
For a broken break and penniless refugee
He's not whole without an utopia to find
Ah, those good old days when life was plentiful
And no one questioned my authority
Suddenly those good old days are gone
A few weeks of your prescience
Needing so much more than mere secrecy
Needing blackmail, and to improve our tactics
Most days we have had to watch you day and night
Stalking, constant vigilance
You walked in and oops-a-daisy!
But for now as we plot
Be handled nicely by Joo Dee!
Joo Dee:
It's a guests!
It's a guests!
Come to our feast!
Sakes alive, well I'll be blessed!
Drink???s been poured and food been served
I've had the best china washed!
With dessert
She'll want tea
I'll make it warm
Piping hot
Heaven's sakes! Is that a fly?
Dump it out! We want the company impressed
We've got a lot to do
Is it one lump or two?
For you, our guests!
Dai Li:
They're our guests!
Joo Dee:
They're our doomed guests!
Long Feng:
They???re our guests!
Be our guests
Be our guests
Our command is not actually your request
It's ten years since we've had anybody
Mention the war
And yes we're obsessed
With your talks
With your gossips
Yes, indeed, we aim to silence
While the candlelight's still glowing
Let us help you
Focus on the light
And pleasant brainwashing sessions
Long Feng and Dai Li:
One by one
'Til you shout, "We???re safe behind the walls!"
Then we'll sing you to sleep
Tonight we???ll still be watching you closely
But for now, prepare for doom and brainwashing!
Since you???re our guests
Be our guests!
Be our guests!
Be our guests!
Please, be our guests!
(The kids flee for their lives until they reach the Lower Ring)
Sokka: Forget the solar eclipse and invading the Fire Nation. I???m out of here!
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lledra
[2]Dec 1, 2006
member since: 02/20/05
level: 5
rank: Caveman Lawyer
posts: 53
LOL that was wicked! good job. ??
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YamiNarutoBrief
[3]Dec 1, 2006
member since: 06/11/06
level: 42
rank: General Lee
posts: 6,625
it was frightfully funny and good.
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LordMordor
[4]Dec 1, 2006
member since: 11/04/05
level: 12
rank: Evil Bert
posts: 1,519
*applause*
Very nicely done, love spoofs of that song

remember the Simpsons version with Mr. Burns:

Seeee myyyy VESt
see my vest
made from real gorillas chest
see this sweater
theres no better
than authentic Irish Setter

See this hat, twas my cat
my eveningware, vampire bat
these white slippers are albino african endangered rhino
grizzly bear underwear
turtles necks, i've got my share
beret of poodle on my noodle it shall rest

try my red robin suit
it comes with one brest or two
see my vest
see my vest
See my veeest

like my loofers, former gophers
it was that, or skin my cheuphors (sp?)
but a greyhound fur tuxedo would be best

so lets prepare these dogs
kill two for matching clogs
see my vest
see my vest
OH please wont you see my veeeeeeest
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mellomuse
[5]Dec 1, 2006
member since: 11/29/05
level: 14
rank: Autobot
posts: 1,904
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masterofaeons
[6]Dec 1, 2006
member since: 05/12/04
level: 15
rank: Ginsu Knife
posts: 4,476
*Azula awakes in her bed next to Mai and Ty Lee. She yawns, then kicks them out of bed and begins singing.*
Azula: Girls, we've got work to do.
Pass the white paint and glue
Perfect isn't easy...!
But it's MEEEEE!
*Ty Lee and Mai carry her into the dressing room and dance about before Ty Lee disrobes her while Mai pours her a bath.*
Azula: When one knows the kingdom's watching
One does what one must
Some minor adjustments, darling
Not for my vanity
But for humanity
*Azula moves behind a curtain and hands Mai the last of her clothes. Ty Lee dumps the bathwater over her and giggles. We see a few flames appear from behind the curtain and Ty Lee scampers away*
Azula: Each little scheme an art
I kill with all my heart...
*Azula grunts and strikes a Fire Nation soldier pose. Ty Lee begins to dress her in green garbs and Mai paints white on her face, but Azula keeps singing, annoying the dilligently working Mai.*
Azula: Sometimes I'm too much for even me!
But when the Firelord says, "Yes"
Then who am I to say "No"?
Don't ask a boy to fight like a soldier
No, sir, WE've got to go!
*Azula, Ty Lee and Mai jump out of the Ba Sing Se housing, all dressed as Kyoshi Warriors. Ty Lee and Mai whistle to accompany Azula's voice as they walk down the street. Azula takes a moment for showing off.*
Azula: Not a flaw or a scar
I admit, I am a staaar!
La la la la...!
Perfection becomes me, n'est ce pas?
Unrivaled, untouchable!
I'm murder unleashed...Yeah!
Doe eyed, bad guy!
Efficient and elegant
Without getting arrogant!
*Azula realizes she's getting a stare and sees Freedom Fighters coming from an alley, weapons in hand. They see through the disguise and are ready to fight the fire princess. Calmly, the three slip into the alley and start fighting. Azula spends her time vocalizing as she, Ty Lee and Mai easily overtake the ragtag fighters.*
Azula: And Ah! Ah! Ooo. . .Aaaaah!
*The battle is over too soon and Ty Lee has some paralyzed, while Mai has the rest pinned to a tree. The unfortunate warrior Azula dealt with is now under her heel.*
Azula: Though many think they can stand to beat me
You're way out of your league!
*She crushes the windpipe of the boy under her and moves closer to the others, charging electricity between her hands*
Azula: You poor kids all over the city
I'll take your lives without hesitance
Your resistance is nice but still - It's just resistance!
Perfect, my dears...Is MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!
*Azula fries the soldiers before her.*
Ty Lee: Did I mess up my makeup?
Mai: (annoyed) It might stay better if we BURN IT ON.
Azula: Hush girls. We're off to see the Earth King!
Ty Lee: ...
Mai: ...
Azula: WHAT?
Mai: Er, you're not gonna sing again - are you?
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masterofaeons
[7]Dec 1, 2006
member since: 05/12/04
level: 15
rank: Ginsu Knife
posts: 4,476
If you haven't already, watch Oliver and Company.

EDIT: God bless YouTube. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C4EAgMY_VFg

Yes, I know it's ironic to have Azula sing a song that was sung originally by a female dog. Do not PM me to tell me how great I am. My mailbox is already full with praise.

Does that link even work?
Edited on 12/01/2006 10:29am
Edited 2 total times.
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Shard2005
[8]Dec 1, 2006
member since: 09/21/05
level: 17
rank: The Crazy Neighbor
posts: 1,077
They were both wonderful, though it was a little hard to follow with the rhyming scheme off. The last one was perfect for Azula! I can see it now! And then she starts off another song. "We're off to see the Earth King! The stupid Earth King of Ba Sing Se."
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masterofaeons
[9]Dec 1, 2006
member since: 05/12/04
level: 15
rank: Ginsu Knife
posts: 4,476
We may as well make a musical. What else do we have to do?
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goldensage830
[10]Dec 1, 2006
member since: 11/24/06
level: 2
rank: Sweat Hog
posts: 112
*laughs* Nice job! Very funny!
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Shard2005
[11]Dec 1, 2006
member since: 09/21/05
level: 17
rank: The Crazy Neighbor
posts: 1,077
Oh, have Ozai sing his version of "Be Prepared"! In fact you'd hardly have to change the lyrics.
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YamiNarutoBrief
[12]Dec 1, 2006
member since: 06/11/06
level: 42
rank: General Lee
posts: 6,625
and we can have Aang sing a edited version of "I Just Can Wait To Be King"......we could call it, "I Just Can Wait To Be The Avatar" (you know, when he has mastered the 4 elements then he'll really be considered the avatar, savior of all)
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doctor_lee
[13]Dec 1, 2006
member since: 11/30/06
level: 3
rank: Soup Nazi
posts: 168
Wow.
I must say.
I am impressed.
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masterofaeons
[14]Dec 1, 2006
member since: 05/12/04
level: 15
rank: Ginsu Knife
posts: 4,476
Someone drag LisaLotsofNumbers in here.
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Falcondude123
[15]Dec 1, 2006
member since: 09/24/06
level: 10
rank: Holy Level 10!
posts: 2,602
the "you know you are too obsessed with avatar when..." thread is still open for all you people you know...
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YamiNarutoBrief
[16]Dec 1, 2006
member since: 06/11/06
level: 42
rank: General Lee
posts: 6,625
Falcondude123 wrote:

the "you know you are too obsessed with avatar when..." thread is still open for all you people you know...

true...true
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mellomuse
[17]Dec 3, 2006
member since: 11/29/05
level: 14
rank: Autobot
posts: 1,904
I posted this on my blog ??also.
Crossroads of Destiny, Disney-style!
Sung to the tune ???Belle??? from Beauty and the Beast
(slow, pretty intro)
Azula:???????????????????????????? Ba Sing Se, such a boring city
?????????????????????????????????????????????? Full of weak-minded rulers too
?????????????????????????????????????????????? Ba Sing Se, you need something better
?????????????????????????????????????????????? So I???ve come to say???
(Perky music starts)
Azula:???????????????????????????? I???m here!
EK:???????????????????????????????????? She???s here!
Dai Li:???????????????????????????? She???s here!?? She???s here!?? She???s here!
Sokka:???????????????????????? Here comes Azula with her pretty posse
?????????????????????????????????????????????? That pink chick???s got a crush on me
?????????????????????????????????????????????? Crazy group of killer friends
?????????????????????????????????????????????? Guess our freedom???s gonna end???
Toph:?????????????????????????????? So let???s blow this stinkin??? town!
EK:???????????????????????????????????? I???ve got Bosco!
Toph:?????????????????????????????? C???mon, let???s go!
Katara:?? ?????????????????????? I helped the Earth King plan a big invasion,
?????????????????????????????????????????????? Although I did it goofily.
?????????????????????????????????????????????? I saw Zuko was in town,
?????????????????????????????????????????????? Then his sister knocked me down???
?????????????????????????????????????????????? I got stuck inside a cave with Sir Angsty.
Azula:???????????????????????????? Hi, Bro.
Zuko:?????????????????????????????? It???s you!?? An agni kai, now!
Azula:???????????????????????????? No thanks????? Oh wow??? You???re such a goof!??????????????????
?????????????????????????????????????????????? Dai Li!???? For me!
Zuko: ???????????????????????????? I???ll get you for this!
Azula:???????????????????????????? I???m the one who???s gotten you, you see.??
Sokka&Aang:?????? What will we do, how will we help Katara?
Toph:?????????????????????????????? Hey, there???s a good friend at the door.
S & A:?? ?????????????????????? It???s the jerk???s uncle, let???s go!
Iroh:?????????????????????????????????? But I can help you, you know,
?????????????????????????????????????????????? If you???ll help me find my nephew also.????????????????????????????????????
Katara:?? ?????????????????????? Ohhhh, I sure yelled at Zuko
?????????????????????????????????????????????? When he answered, I thought I could see
?????????????????????????????????????????????? Shades of a real Prince Charming????????????????????????????
?????????????????????????????????????????????? Was I wrong?
?????????????????????????????????????????????? ???Cause then he turned his flame on Aang and me
Zuko: ???????????????????????????? I caught Katara???s glances as she left me,
?????????????????????????????????????????????? Then ???Zula came and crooned at me???
?????????????????????????????????????????????? Uncle said I had a choice,
?????????????????????????????????????????????? So I listened to a voice???
?????????????????????????????????????????????? Not that one, but one that says
Gaang&Iroh: ???????? He listened to the one that says???
Zuko:?????????????????????????????? The one that says ???Let???s go and please Daddy.???
(later, back at the palace)
Azula(to self):?????? I???m just so awesome; I???m the divine ruler,
?????????????????????????????????????????????? My plan worked oh-so-perfectly.
?????????????????????????????????????????????? He???s a sucker, he???s been had;
?????????????????????????????????????????????? Thinks he???s gonna please our dad;
????????????????????????????????????????????????But I???m out to be the Empress almighty!
Ty-Lee:???????????????????????? Azula, you???re??? you???re just so pretty!
???????????????????????????????????????????? Your hair, up there, you???re like a queen!
Mai:??????????????????????????????????Whatever, Ty??? hey, is that Zuko?
Zuko:?????????????????????????????? I???ve betrayed my uncle, haven???t I???
Mai (to Ty-Lee): Hide me, ???cause I???m just about to die!
Zuko:?????????????????????????????? Not just Azula, now I???m stuck with Ty-Lee?
?????????????????????????????????????????????? And Mai is all crushing on me?
?????????????????????????????????????????????? OMG, what have I done? Am I the most stupid one?
?????????????????????????????????????????????? Changed my mind!?? Hey, wait up!??
?????????????????????????????????????????????? Please someone save me!!
??
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Lisa31468
[18]Dec 3, 2006
member since: 07/27/06
level: 17
rank: The Crazy Neighbor
posts: 4,960
Wahahahahahahaha! (wheeze) Wahahahahahahaha! (wheeze) Wahahahahahahaha!
You guys are SO frickin' hilarious!
~my husband and I are laughing so hard, we're bawling~
~dubs this thread one of the BEST ever read in this forum~
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ardron

[19]Dec 3, 2006

member since: 08/05/06
level: 11
rank: Red Shirted Lt.
posts: 941

masterofaeons wrote:

*Azula awakes in her bed next to Mai and Ty Lee. She yawns, then kicks them out of bed and begins singing.* Azula: Girls, we've got work to do. Pass the white paint and glue Perfect isn't easy...! But it's MEEEEE! *Ty Lee and Mai carry her into the dressing room and dance about before Ty Lee disrobes her while Mai pours her a bath.* Azula: When one knows the kingdom's watching One does what one must Some minor adjustments, darling Not for my vanity But for humanity *Azula moves behind a curtain and hands Mai the last of her clothes. Ty Lee dumps the bathwater over her and giggles. We see a few flames appear from behind the curtain and Ty Lee scampers away* Azula: Each little scheme an art I kill with all my heart... *Azula grunts and strikes a Fire Nation soldier pose. Ty Lee begins to dress her in green garbs and Mai paints white on her face, but Azula keeps singing, annoying the dilligently working Mai.* Azula: Sometimes I'm too much for even me! But when the Firelord says, "Yes" Then who am I to say "No"? Don't ask a boy to fight like a soldier No, sir, WE've got to go! *Azula, Ty Lee and Mai jump out of the Ba Sing Se housing, all dressed as Kyoshi Warriors. Ty Lee and Mai whistle to accompany Azula's voice as they walk down the street. Azula takes a moment for showing off.* Azula: Not a flaw or a scar I admit, I am a staaar! La la la la...! Perfection becomes me, n'est ce pas? Unrivaled, untouchable! I'm unleashed...Yeah! Doe eyed, bad guy! Efficient and elegant Without getting arrogant! *Azula realizes she's getting a stare and sees Freedom Fighters coming from an alley, weapons in hand. They see through the disguise and are ready to fight the fire princess. Calmly, the three slip into the alley and start fighting. Azula spends her time vocalizing as she, Ty Lee and Mai easily overtake the ragtag fighters.* Azula: And Ah! Ah! Ooo. . .Aaaaah! *The battle is over too soon and Ty Lee has some paralyzed, while Mai has the rest pinned to a tree. The unfortunate warrior Azula dealt with is now under her heel.* Azula: Though many think they can stand to beat me You're way out of your league! *She crushes the windpipe of the boy under her and moves closer to the others, charging electricity between her hands* Azula: You poor kids all over the city I'll take your lives without hesitance Your resistance is nice but still - It's just resistance! Perfect, my dears...Is MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!! *Azula fries the soldiers before her.* Ty Lee: Did I mess up my makeup? Mai: (annoyed) It might stay better if we BURN IT ON. Azula: Hush s. We're off to see the Earth King! Ty Lee: ... Mai: ... Azula: WHAT? Mai: Er, you're not gonna sing again - are you?

Now that's a work of art!

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8SWORDS8
[20]Dec 3, 2006
member since: 12/03/06
level: 2
rank: Sweat Hog
posts: 57
An avatar musical! That would be so funny!
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Avatar: The Last Airbender Forums

Long Feng Sings "Be Our Guest"

FreakishChild

lledra

YamiNarutoBrief

LordMordor

mellomuse

masterofaeons

masterofaeons

Shard2005

masterofaeons

goldensage830

Shard2005

YamiNarutoBrief

doctor_lee

masterofaeons

Falcondude123

YamiNarutoBrief

mellomuse

Lisa31468

ardron

8SWORDS8