Aang: Did you hear? The fire nation is offering gold to anyonewho can come up with designs for new weapons of destruction.

Toph: I heard their also accepting ideas from Water tribe and Earth kingdom.

Katara: That's the dumbest thing I've everheard. What sort ofmoraless creepwould aid the fire nation for meremoney?

Sokka:(carrying a bag of gold)Hi Guys.

Katara: Where did you get that bag of gold?

Sokka: Uh, I found it.

Katara: HOW COULD YOU?!

Sokka: Katara it's not what it looks like.

Katara: you've been selling weapon ideas to the fire nation, haven't you?

Sokka: Of course not.

Katara: Then where did you get the bag of gold? Tell me the truth.

Sokka: Ok,Azula and Ty Lee pay me to be their cuddle buddy.

Katara: *Phew*, I was worried for a moment, don't scare me like that. Sorry that I over reacted.

Sokka: Thats ok.

Sokka walks off

(Pause)

Katara: YOU'RE THEIR WHAT?!!!!

This one was written by hostiy man he was funny i miss the old people

[the gaang is getting ready to shoota preview of"The Awakening"]

Director: CUT! Aang, what was that?! that air blast was pathetic.

Aang: I'm sorry. This hair is so distracting!I've never letit growout like this. You can barely see my arrow.

Katara: it's nice, actually. I like blonde and curly

Aang: thanks, Katara

Director: more importantly, it'll take our viewersby surprise.

Sokka: I dunno about your guys' new stuff, but these dual swords are AWESOME!

Director: enough stalling! We'll move onto the fire palace scene. Toph! Get out here!

Toph: I'm liken' the red dress, but it's way too tight. I can barely breathe!

Director: quit complaining. fire princess Toph, you can kiss the Bu- wait! Who's that?

[Someone is peeking in from behind the set]

Director: guards! Arrest the eavesdropper! [The guards run behind either end of the stage and run into each other. the guy who was listening runs away]

Director: Rodney, who was that?

Rodney: [looking at clipboard] that was one of our fans, sir. his name is "hostiy." should we go after him?

Director: [smiles] we don't have to. They'll never believe him. Mwahahahahahahahaha!

LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOONG ONE

*Azula and Toph are in a car* *Azula is driving*

Azula: Hey, Toph, where do you want to go?

Toph: Why don't we just head back to the apartment already? We've got a lot of shooting to do for the third season tomorrow.

Azula: If it ever comes out. Those fans are going to eat Nick alive.

Toph: Yeah, really.

Azula: All right, let's head back to the apartment.

Toph: Wait, I forgot something!

Azula: Forgot what?

Toph: We need to go to the grocery store and buy some stuff; our fridge is pretty empty.

Azula: Oh, it is? Did you look recently?

Toph: ........................

Azula: Oh! Sorry...

Toph: Just get to the grocery store.

*Azula drives them to the grocery store and parks the car*

Azula: Okay, I'll go in and get some stuff. What do we need?

Toph: Milk, bread, jam, peanut butter...

Azula: Peanut butter's not in the fridge.

Toph: WE STILL NEED IT!

Azula: Okay! Okay! So, is that all?

Toph: Pretty much. I'll just stay in here.

Azula: Okay.

*Azula gets out of car and walks into grocery store* *while shopping, she sees Katara and Sokka*

Katara: Hey, Azula! Over here!

Azula: Hey, guys! I didn't know you were here!

Sokka:Yeah, we like shopping here.

Azula: Well, how's it been going lately? I mean, we haven't seen each other in a while. Since, what...the filming of "The Crossroads of Destiny"?

Katara: Yeah, that's about right.

*Sokka notices Ty Lee, Suki, and Yue off in the distance*

Sokka: Hey, ladies! Over here!

Azula: Wow, is everyone here?

Katara: Maybe. We were just here because we thought we'd want to stalk up before filming tomorrow.

*girls walk over*

Yue: Hey, Sokka.

Ty Lee: Hi, cutie.

Suki: Hello, Sokka.

Sokka:

Katara: Yep. Sokka's going to have fun filming tomorrow.

Azula: You'd better stay near his trailer.

Katara: Don't worry; I will.

*Azula spends more time talking to them, and then finally gets groceries* *she walks outside and goes to the car to put groceries in*

Azula: Hey, Toph! I got the stuff!

Toph: Good. I just remembered something else.

Azula: What now?

Toph: We need to get some food for Bei.

Azula: How much does that badger mole of yours eat?

Toph: A lot.

Azula: *sigh* Okay, I'll go back in and get something for him.

*Azula walks back in store and buys food for Bei and then walks back to the car* *Toph is sitting with her handsholding the back of her head* *she has a terrified expression on her face*

Azula: Toph! Toph, are you all right?

Toph: NO! Someone shot me, and my brains are falling out!

Azula: WHAT?

Azula: I'll call 911!

*Azula dials 911 and ambulance and police arrive*

Policeman: Open up the door, miss, so we can get you out of there.

Toph: I can't open the door! I'm holding my brain in!

*Policeman forces door open, and takes Toph out*

Toph: AAAHHH! I'M GOING TO DIE!!!!!

Azula: Hang in there, Toph! How bad is her head?

*Azula looks at the back of Toph's head*

Azula: What the...that's not your brains, stonehead, that's theJAM I BOUGHT!!!!!!

City of Walls and Secrets

Toph: Katara may be able to do it, but you two would be lucky to pass as bus boys!

Sokka: But i feel so fancy!

*Bogger falls on Sokka

Sokka:Ewwww it's slimy

Aang: Sokka, that wasn't in the script

Katara: Yeah Sokka, your so bad at this!

Sokka: Well it's Toph's fault!

Toph: WHAT! *Pounds Sokka with rocks

DIRECTOR: Toph, that's going to give us a problem with liabilty and all!

Katara: Come on Than. You've got to push.

Than: I'm trying.

Katara: No you're not. Push harder.

Than:*gasp* I can't! It's too painful.

Katara: I know it's painful but you have towork through the pain. I'm here for you. NOW PUSH!!!!

Than: ARGH!!!

Katara: There we got you in.

THan: *pant* *pant* Thank you.

Katara: Not a problem thoughI really wish they had gotten you a looser fitting pregnancy suit.

Than: That's the draw back of thecostume department buying second hand.

More old jokes i copied

(Zuko is in Mai's bedroom, and Sokka just happen to be outside)

Mai: So you think you can do it?

Zuko: I'm not sure.

Mai: Please, I need it now!

Zuko: But I've never done that before.

Mai: WHAT? What kind of man has never screwed before? What's gonna happen when you get married? Ur wife is gonna need you to screw here and there occasionally.

Zuko: Fine, I'll do it! There's a first time for everything.

...

Mai: Come on, speed it up. Screw faster!!! Come on Zuko! Faster, FASTER!!!

Zuko: Have some patience; I'm trying as hard as I can!

...

Mai: Come on Zuko, harder. Ur not putting it in right! Push it in harder.

Zuko: I told you, it's my first time!

(Sokka listening from outside)

Sokka: First time eh? Maybe I can help out!

(Sokka bursts into room)

Sokka: WAIT! Don't forget about me!

Zuko: Oh Sokka, I'm so glad you're here. Can you help me screw in this light bulb for Mai? It's a b****!

Mai: Are you callin me a b****?

Zuko: No you retart, the light bulb!

Sokka: o0o, you were screwing in the light bulb, hehe.

Zuko: Yeah, why, what were you thinking?

Sokka: Nothing, hehe, I knew were screwing a light bulb, hehe.

(Sokka runs off)

Zuko: WAIT! I STILL NEED HELP WITH THE LIGHT BULB!

[Zuko gets back under the covers with Mae.]

Mae: that was close

Zuko: no kidding

Sokka is giving Aang advice on Katara.

Aang: Thanks for helping me with Katara.

Sokka: Don't sweat it, considering the other guys she's been with, you're quite good.

Aang: Uh, thanks I guess.

Katara walks in wearing a new dress

Katara: What do you think?

Sokka: (whisper) Say something about her dress.

Aang: It's blue.

Sokka hits Aang on the back of the head

Sokka: (Heated whisper) A compliment, moron!

Aang: it makes you look less fat that usual

Aang: um, it's a nice blue!

Sokka: keep going...

Aang: the blue goes well with your eyes.

Sokka (whispering): that's good!

Aang: ... your eyes are a faded royal blue and the dress is an azure, good match. and the white beads are SO you, they add to the glitter lining on the-

Sokka (still whispering): entering gay territory! ...

Aang (nervous, starts sweating): so anyway, that's a nice dress.

[Walks up to Katara and starts sliding his finger alongherneckline.

Katara: wait, what are you doing?

Sokka: NO, THAT'S NOT TILL STEP 3!!!

[Everyone looks at Sokka]

Sokka: ummm... [Pops a snickers into his mouth

(Aang gets drunk)

Aang: My turn, my turn.

Katara: No, I'm not gonna let you embarrass yurself!

(Aang runs up on stage)

Aang: I'd like to dedicate this song to my love Katara, cuz her a$$ is so big. I love you Katara, cuz u have a huge a$$.

Katara: I do not!

Toph: The truth comes out when ur drunk sugar queen. He likes you for ur a$$.

Aang: I LOVE BIG BUTTS AND I CANNOT LIE

YOU OTHA BROTHA'S CAN'T DENY

WHEN A GIRL WALKS IN WIT A ITTY BITTY WASTE

AND THAT ROUND THING IN UR FACE...

Sokka- YOU GET SPRUNG

YOU WANNA PULL UP FRONT CAUSE YOU NOTICED THAT BUTT WAS STUFFED

LOOK AT WHAT SHE'S WEARING YOUR HOOKED AND YOU CAN'T STOP STARING

Jet- OH BABY I WANNA GET WITH YA AND TAKE YOUR PICTURE

Zuko- YOUR HOMEBOYS TRIED TO WARN ME BUT THAT BUTT YOU GOT MAKES

Zuko,Jet,Aang- MAKES ME SO HORNY

Katara: I can't believe this; Ido not have a big butt.

Toph: Yes u do!

Katara: NO I DON"T!!!

still in the background singing Zuko- I'M TIRED OF SCROLLS SAYING FLAT BUTTS ARE THE THING

Toph: Yur rite Katara, yur just a huge pain in the a$$.

Jet- SO FELLAS

Aang,Sokka,Zuko- YEAH

Jet- SO FELLAS

Aang,Sokka,Zuko- YEAH

Jet- YOUR GIRLFRIEND GOT A BIG BUTT

Sokka,Zuko,Aang- HE// YEAH

Zuko-SHAKE IT

Jet-SHAKE IT

Sokka-SHAKE IT

Aang-SHAKE IT

Zuko- SHAKE THAT HEALTHY BUTT

Aang- BABY GOT BACK

This one's kinda old...

*In a classroom, Sokka is eating Skittles*

Teacher: Sokka, are you eating in my classroom?

Sokka:*mouth full of skiittles* no

Teacher: Sokka, what is your favorite animal?

Sokka: Rhinocerous

Teacher: I want you to write an essay... 500 words... on "Life inside the Uterus of a rhinoceros

more old jokes from thankyou for writing these great jokes wish i new who wrote them

The GAang are in a clearingwith adisheartenedSokka, who had been held hostage by Ozai's Angels

Katara: How are you feeling?

Sokka: Don't ask.

Toph: What did they do to you?

Sokka: I don't want to talk about it.

Aang: (looking atSokka's neck)is that a hicky?

Sokka: I DON'T WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT!!

Toph: no its a tattoo of a heart that he changes whenever he's with a different girl

Aang: how would you know? yur blind.

Katara: O MY GOD!!!!!!!!!!!

Katara: Sooo, watcha doin?

Aang: Playing on my PSP

Katara: What game?

Aang: WTF

Katara: What, am i bothering you?

Aang: uh no.

Katara: K, so like i was saying, what's the games name.

Aang: WTF.

Katara: WTF did i do wrong, all i did was ask for the games name, now wtf is the games name?

Aang: How many f****** do i have to say it? Wtf

Katara: Fine, be like that, and I'm not sorry for calling you a stupid monk.

(Katara gets up from computer chair and storms off)

Aang: WTF, that's the games name. Women these days.

10 years pass after season 3. A 10 year reunion is now taking place)

Katara: OMG, everyone, it's soo good to see you!

Everyone:

Katara: What?

Aang: Uhh, nothing!

Sokka: Hey look, cactus juice!

Aang: Before you get high, i jus wanna ask you something.

Sokka: Make it quick, for 10 years, i haven't had cactus juice cuz Katara is such a b****

Katara: I heard that Sokka *water whips him*

Sokka: Screw you Katara! I'm gonna get wasted, and lose my virginity.

Aang: Ur still a virgin?

Sokka: Katara wouldn't let me have s3x!

Aang:I lost mine since I was 12 dude. I use to screw Katara all the time. Which brings me back to my question. WTF DID KATARA DO TO HERSELF?

Sokka: She had nothing after the show ended. That was all she lived for. Can I get high now?

Aang: watever.

Katara: Zuko? Is that you? OMG, it's like totally awsome to see you.

(Zuko looks at Katara)

Zuko: Get away from me you freak.

(runs away)

Katara: What wrong? Ur taken aren't you? Is it that Mai girl? I will f****** destroy her.

Aang: Calm down!

Katara: Why does everyone treat me different?

Aang: Uhh, well I can see that you became a blonde.

Katara: People, don't like me blonde?

Aang: No no, ur beautiful! hehe, *runs off*

Zuko: Katara scares me

Jet: I know, u saw what she did to herself?

Haru: I mean, the blonde part makes her look hot, but her a$$ got huge.

Jet: Don't forget the boobs.

Katara: Hey guys.

Guys: Uh, hey Katara!

Katara: Have you seen Sokka?

(Sokka runs out of bathroom)

Sokka: IM NOT A VIRGIN ANYMORE, WHOOO!

(Iroh follows him out of the bathroom)

Everyone:

heres more funny jokes Maiko and tylokka

Ty Lee and Sokka are in a room surrounded by stuffed animals.

Ty Lee:(holding up a stuffed skunk bear)this is Mr Stinky-Wink(Holds up a stuffed Badger Mole)and this is Cuddy-Wuff. Say Hi to Sokka Cuddly-Wuff (In a silly voice) Hi Sokka.

Sokka: (tense)Uh hi Cuddly-Wuff.

Ty Lee: Is something wrong?

Sokka: Could we maybe remove the shackles, it kinda hurts.

Ty Lee: (Cuddy-Wuff voice) Oh no, we tried that. You can't be trusted

Mai: o0o ZUKO!

Zuko: ...

Mai: I made you dinner!

Zuko: ...

Mai: Well aren't you gonna eat it?

(Zuko takes bite)

Mai: Do you like it?

Zuko: ...

Mai: YOU LITLLE F*****! WHY DON'T YOU LIKE IT?

Zuko: ... Well, I would just like to mention that my hands feet are tied to your bed!

Mai: So...

Zuko: And I'm cold.

Mai: U wanna snuggle?

Zuko: NO, I want my hands, my feet, and my clothes back!

(Cosmo from the Fairly Odd Parents is standing trial!)

Wanda: What did you do this time you idiot!

Cosmo: I love you!

Timmy: Don't worry Wanda! It can be as bad as the time he sank Atlantis.

...

Lawyer: So Cosmo, Aang here, is the Avatar in case you didn't know!

Cosmo: What's an Avatar?

Lawyer: I'm sure you're aware he wants to sue you!

Cosmo: Why is he bald?

Lawyer: I am also familiar with the fact that u sank the city of Atlantis!

Cosmo: What's with the arrow on his head?

Lawyer: SHUT THE H3LLUP, and cooperate!

Cosmo: Sorry! Yes, I sank Atlantis 9 times but why does Aang wanna sue me?

Aang: You sunk it 9 TIMES? GUILTY, GUILTY!

Judge: Order IN MY court!

Lawyer: Well we have found evidence that it wasn't the fire benders who killed off the Airbender. We found ur DNA in all the air temple which proves that you killed them.

Aang: Wtf if DNA?

Lawyer: Shut up!

Aang: Screw you, that green f***** is GUILTY!

Cosmo: Yes I admit I killed the Airbender. I attempted 9 times.

Aang: GUILTY!

Judge: Will you SHUT UP?

Cosmo: I also banged and killed Zuko's mom!

Wanda and Zuko: WHAT?

Zuko: I will f****** eat you alive.

Wanda: ME TOO! I call the head!

Zuko: I want the arms and feet. Since u two r married you can have his p3nis!

Wanda: U can take the ears too!

Cosmo: Before you eat my body parts, I jus wanna say, I banged her 9 times!

Wow i can't believe i finally found one of my favorites

Toph: EVERYONE is annoying me today...I have an idea.*yelling* hey everyone! I have an announcement! Other avatar casts come in Aang: What is it Toph? Toph: I wanted everyone to know that I love flesh-eating monkeys and pulling my own teeth. Katara: You are crazy Toph Toph: Crazy? I was crazy once. So they locked me in the Looney bin. I died there. They buried me in a box six feet underground. Then the worms came. I hate worms. They make me crazy. Crazy? I was crazy once.... 1 hour later... Toph: Then the worms came. I hate worms. They make me crazy. Crazy- Zuko: MAKE IT STOP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!*twitch*

Watershade wrote: Honestly I think Nick has special shelters somewhere deep in the underground. It's a free service. Parents whose kids find out about DEATH (le gasp!) call them, in tears and in fear for their children's mental state, and ask for aid. Then, a truck arrives, with caring specialists dressed in white suits with orange Nick mark, take the kids away from their tearful parents, and bring them to the shelter.

Then they are brainwashed into forgetting the whole experience... and are pushed back into the sweet ignorance which Nick and many parents consider equal to having a happy childhood.

...I should go back to sleep

I'm new to this but here goes:

the gang are playin a game of truth or dare and it lands on Toph

Aang- k Toph truth or dare

Toph- truth

Sokka- lets here it!

Toph-I......I.....I love you Katara!!

(stands up and kisses Katara with tongues)

Toph- omg! I can't live with myself!!

(Toph crushes herself with a boulder)