We're moving Forums to the Community pages. Click here for more information and updates.

Avatar: The Last Airbender Forums

Nickelodeon (ended 2008)

Avatar Fanfic: BOOK 3: Chapter 1 is finished (I took advice and made it awesome)

  • Avatar of Vampdude69

    Vampdude69

    [1]Dec 21, 2006
    • member since: 09/25/06
    • level: 6
    • rank: Small Wonder
    • posts: 1,173

    Avatar: The Last Airbender

    My story, is set after the Second Season Finale, "The Crossroads of Destiny." This is just a fanfic, and not what will actually happen...duh.

    So, if there is any way I can improve my story, please tell me.

    So, here we go.

    Book 3: Fire

    Prolouge

    The prolouge will be on the next post

    Edited on 12/28/2006 9:03am
    Edited 2 total times.
    You must be registered and logged in to post a message.
  • Avatar of confucioussayhi

    confucioussayhi

    [2]Dec 21, 2006
    • member since: 11/23/06
    • level: 15
    • rank: Ginsu Knife
    • posts: 6,908
    It wouldn't happen to be my advice would it?
    You must be registered and logged in to post a message.
  • Avatar of Vampdude69

    Vampdude69

    [3]Dec 21, 2006
    • member since: 09/25/06
    • level: 6
    • rank: Small Wonder
    • posts: 1,173

    Avatar: The Last Airbender

    Book 3: Fire

    Prolouge

    Sponsers for this Chapter: Katara's Waterbending

    ??

    Prolouge:

    Azula and Zuko sat in the throne room of Ba-Sing-Se.

    "Zuko, it's finally ours," Azula said. "The so-called great Earth Kingdom, has fallen!"
    She stood up and walked down the steps and turned around.
    "And you, have restored your honor," she said.
    "Where is uncle?" Zuko asked.
    "He is a traitor. He cannot be around here, he will only mess up our plans." Azula said.

    "Where is uncle?" Zuko asked. He was starting to yell.
    "We took him to a prison, we might ship him back home, to face our father," Azula replied.

    Zuko sat on the throne. He looked at his sister.

    Did I make the right choice? he wondered.

    "Zuko, is something wrong?" Azula asked.
    "No," Zuko said. He stepped away from the throne.
    "What about the Avatar?" he asked.

    "Zuko, remember Sozin's Comet, returning to end the war at summer's end?" Azula said.
    "Yes..." Zuko said.
    "Well, something is happening," Azula said.

    "What?" Zuko asked.

    "Sit down, this is a lot to take in," she said.

    Edited on 12/21/2006 7:54pm
    You must be registered and logged in to post a message.
  • Avatar of Vampdude69

    Vampdude69

    [4]Dec 21, 2006
    • member since: 09/25/06
    • level: 6
    • rank: Small Wonder
    • posts: 1,173

    confucioussayhi wrote:
    It wouldn't happen to be my advice would it?

    actually it is

    You must be registered and logged in to post a message.
  • Avatar of confucioussayhi

    confucioussayhi

    [5]Dec 21, 2006
    • member since: 11/23/06
    • level: 15
    • rank: Ginsu Knife
    • posts: 6,908
    Vampdude69 wrote:

    confucioussayhi wrote:
    It wouldn't happen to be my advice would it?

    actually it is

    Good. Sozin's not Sozan's. Nice.
    You must be registered and logged in to post a message.
  • Avatar of Vampdude69

    Vampdude69

    [6]Dec 21, 2006
    • member since: 09/25/06
    • level: 6
    • rank: Small Wonder
    • posts: 1,173
    confucioussayhi wrote:
    Vampdude69 wrote:

    confucioussayhi wrote:
    It wouldn't happen to be my advice would it?

    actually it is

    Good. Sozin's not Sozan's. Nice.

    lol. is it good

    You must be registered and logged in to post a message.
  • Avatar of confucioussayhi

    confucioussayhi

    [7]Dec 21, 2006
    • member since: 11/23/06
    • level: 15
    • rank: Ginsu Knife
    • posts: 6,908
    Vampdude69 wrote:
    confucioussayhi wrote:
    Vampdude69 wrote:

    confucioussayhi wrote:
    It wouldn't happen to be my advice would it?

    actually it is

    Good. Sozin's not Sozan's. Nice.

    lol. is it good

    its not the same as the one in your blog. But its good.
    You must be registered and logged in to post a message.
  • Avatar of Vampdude69

    Vampdude69

    [8]Dec 21, 2006
    • member since: 09/25/06
    • level: 6
    • rank: Small Wonder
    • posts: 1,173
    confucioussayhi wrote:
    Vampdude69 wrote:
    confucioussayhi wrote:
    Vampdude69 wrote:

    confucioussayhi wrote:
    It wouldn't happen to be my advice would it?

    actually it is

    Good. Sozin's not Sozan's. Nice.

    lol. is it good

    its not the same as the one in your blog. But its good.

    i wanted to change it. Im gonna write chapter 1 now. PM me any advice or put it on my blog

    You must be registered and logged in to post a message.
  • Avatar of kingdom707

    kingdom707

    [9]Dec 21, 2006
    • member since: 07/21/06
    • level: 13
    • rank: Regal Beagle
    • posts: 7,554
    its pretty good. i like it
    You must be registered and logged in to post a message.
  • Avatar of kingdom707

    kingdom707

    [10]Dec 21, 2006
    • member since: 07/21/06
    • level: 13
    • rank: Regal Beagle
    • posts: 7,554
    you 2 have inspired me to make my own fanfic. i am going to go do that right now
    You must be registered and logged in to post a message.
  • Avatar of Vampdude69

    Vampdude69

    [11]Dec 21, 2006
    • member since: 09/25/06
    • level: 6
    • rank: Small Wonder
    • posts: 1,173

    Avatar: The Last Airbender

    Book 3: Fire

    Chapter One: The Sensiona

    Sponsor for this Chapter: Zuko's Firebending

    Chapter One:

    Appa landed on the ground outisde Ba-Sing-Se. Aang was stilll recovering from his injuries, and he just lay on the saddle.
    "Thank you Katara," he said.
    Katara just smiled.

    Sokka dropped the sleeping bags on the ground and jumped off.
    Sokka slid into his sleeping bag. "Might as well get some sleep. We have to think of a plan tommorrow."
    The Earth King dropped down from Appa's saddle.
    "Sleeping....bags?" he asked. "What are sleeping bags?" he asked. He picked up one. He examined it closely.

    "Do we, bag an animal, then sleep on it?" he asked.

    Sokka looked at Katara, with a puzzled kind of look.
    "No, you crawl into them, and then it's sleepy time," he said. "Good night!" he said.
    Katara walked down and unrolled her sleeping bag, and Toph made her earth tent and fell asleep.
    Aang was just laying on the saddle, and he eventually fell fast asleep. Momo jumped on his head, and curled up.

    Katara walked away from the group, and sat on the ground. She took out her little necklace that had carried the water from the Spirit Oasis.
    "What if I had used it on Zuko?" she wondered. "Aang would be....dead," she said.

    She fell fast asleep.

    -
    Katara found Aang sitting by the river yesterday, trying to heal his wounds with waterbending.

    "Here, Aang, let me help you," she said.
    "No!" he said. He pulled his arm away. "I can do it myself."
    "Aang, you can't heal, your not a born healer," she said.
    "I don't need your help," Aang said again.
    Katara walked away, and she looked back at him.
    "Something is going on," she said.

    She walked back to camp and Sokka was sharpening his boomerang with a stone. He stood up and looked in the sky.
    "It's been getting warmer," he said. "Whats going on?" he asked.
    "I don't know," Katara said.
    -

    Aang stood up and walked over to a small mountain."
    "I'm sick of them," he said. "I can't take them anymore."
    He walked around the mountain and he saw the Serpent's Pass.

    "Leave them behind," a voice said inside him.
    "What?" Aang said. "I'm not leaving."
    "Do it," the voice said. "Before he comes."
    "Who's he?" Aang asked.

    The voice dissapeared and Aang walked to the Serpent's Pass, where a little old lady was sitting. In front of her was a star map.
    "Hello, Avatar," the women said.

    "Hello, who are you?" Aang asked.

    "I am The Time Master, and I'm here to tell you something," she said.

    "What?" Aang asked.
    "Sozin's Comet is coming. Sooner than expected. It will be here in 2 weeks. You need to defeat the Fire Lord by then."
    "Two weeks!" Aang yelled. "I can't defeat him in two weeks! I haven't even started firebending!"
    "You will find a way Avatar," she said. "Also, something is inside the comet that is making it come sooner. This "something" is a force that affects you in strange ways. Your Avatar State spirit will start talking to you, and sometimes, you will be consumed by the Avatar State, even though you've mastered it."
    "Wait, how do you know this?" Aang asked.
    "We will meet again," she said. And she dissapeared into thin air.
    A little scrap of paper was left on the ground.
    It said one word:
    Sensiona


    END OF CHAPTER

    Edited on 12/22/2006 6:06pm
    You must be registered and logged in to post a message.
  • Avatar of KilalaRose

    KilalaRose

    [12]Dec 22, 2006
    • member since: 03/26/06
    • level: 13
    • rank: Regal Beagle
    • posts: 1,612
    I like it. it actually sounds like their personalities. Good job
    You must be registered and logged in to post a message.
  • Avatar of Vampdude69

    Vampdude69

    [13]Dec 22, 2006
    • member since: 09/25/06
    • level: 6
    • rank: Small Wonder
    • posts: 1,173

    KilalaRose wrote:
    I like it. it actually sounds like their personalities. Good job

    thank you

    You must be registered and logged in to post a message.
  • Avatar of Vampdude69

    Vampdude69

    [14]Dec 28, 2006
    • member since: 09/25/06
    • level: 6
    • rank: Small Wonder
    • posts: 1,173
    should i keep going?
    Or is this a bad fanfic
    You must be registered and logged in to post a message.
  • Avatar of confucioussayhi

    confucioussayhi

    [15]Dec 28, 2006
    • member since: 11/23/06
    • level: 15
    • rank: Ginsu Knife
    • posts: 6,908
    Keep going, I read it but I forgot to post, it's good. Sorry
    You must be registered and logged in to post a message.
  • Avatar of Vampdude69

    Vampdude69

    [16]Dec 28, 2006
    • member since: 09/25/06
    • level: 6
    • rank: Small Wonder
    • posts: 1,173

    lol, np

    I will work on Chapter 2

    You must be registered and logged in to post a message.